Eriu requests all friendly nations send an ambassador to attend the funeral of our hero Cu Chulainn. When our outnumbered army fled in the battle against 100 hideous Possessed Apes, he valiantly fought on, crushing their bodies and then their ghostly spirits beneath his magical chariot. When the wheels finally gave out and fell off, and his legs were chopped off, and his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, he tied himself to a tree using just his teeth, and bit the knees off the evil creatures.
Sadly, he was finally dispatched when his Soul was slain with wicked sorcery.
P.S. Bandar is not invited.
ooc: Glad to see you back, K!