Several solutions come to mind:
1: search google for FREE TEEN MIDGET CLOWN Pr0N, or FREE WAR3Z. Click a few links. Download and install any "applications" that are offered to you.
2: Browse the web randomly. Click all the flashiest, most annoying adverts you see. Download and install any "applications" that are offered to you.
3: Post your email address to a public forum that is regularly visited by harvesting bots, preferably forums concerning themselves with FREE TEEN MIDGET CLOWN Pr0N or FREE WAR3Z. Yahoo groups ought to do it. Switch off your anti-spam filters and anti-virus. Install ny "applications" that are emailed to you.
4: Build/ buy/ wipe a machine and install a fresh, unpatched, pre-SP1 windows XP to it. Connect it direct to the internet without any kind of protection. Go get a beer from the fridge. By the time you've drunk the beer, your computer will be so infested with malware that it will probably crawl right off your desk and into the sewer.
5: learn programming and write your own damn virus, you lazy sod.
6: Don't. Deliberately infecting machines with malware, even machines belonging to people who thoroughly deserve it, is a Very Bad Thing to be doing. Quite apart from the fact that it's probably a criminal offence (depending on the local laws where you live), consider that your victim may well go on to infect some other, more innocent user with your virus, who will go on to infect others, and others... Just don't, that's all.
Perhaps your time would be better spent in less antisocial pursuits. Give a few hours of your time to charity or cook dinner for some friends. Gardening is good for the soul, or you could buy the Firefly box set on DVD and watch it*. Perhaps you could read a good book on philosophy; plenty of people here will recommend one for you. Take up meditation, or make a donation to the
PBW server. Just don't do anything phonging stupid like spreading malware.
Peace,
'scoff
* This one isn't particularly good for your karma, it's just good general advice for anyone.