[Taqwus]

Getting caught being stealthy in their territory do not appear to be considered as provocation. Nor does fighting an AI army, if the reason you fought is because you both invaded the same third-party (possibly independent) province -- with the probable exception of you killing his pretender in that battle.

Even if you roleplay a peaceful, benevolent ruler who never acts first against an AI in any way, they eventually will declare war on you. This is certain, I suspect, once there's only one remaining.

You can offer it gifts of magic equipment, but the AI isn't too careful about figuring out whether it should actually -use- what you give it (or items in general -- I've seen an Oceanian Kraken pretender with a Soul Contract, for instance. This is not a brilliant combination.).