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Old December 1st, 2007, 07:13 PM

Lazy_Perfectionist Lazy_Perfectionist is offline
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Default Re: Conticeos - Servants of Priores (EA nation)

Only mildy. I've seen much worse. You're more understandable than some Americans, I'm sad to say.


In the dark depths of history the civilization of Priores was destroyed by an unknown cause. Their technology and culture was wiped from history in one sudden, horrible disaster [changed for flavor, not quality or grammar].

Only their tomb cities were left behind. In those cities survive [again, flavor] the people of Conticeos, servants of Priores. The Conticeos still follow their oath to protect those tombs and wait for their masters return. For thousands of years this race has defended those holy places and not a single [sign of/rumor] about Priores return has come to their ears. Still, they wait and fulfill their oath. [passage was somewhat redundant]

But the times are changing. The old god has fallen and new pretenders are rising. With the leadership of a pretender god the people of Conticeos march to regain their old powers [regain new is kind of contradictory, since you cannot regain what you've already lost] and call their masters back to this world.

Your english is actually pretty good. You do have a tendency to forget "the"s and "an"s and so forth. Though I am not certain all of those "the"s I added were necessary, they seemed appropriate.
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