[duke_commando]

There is much rejoicing throughout Hengewood this month as finally, after six months of on and off sieges by fish men and giants, the capital of Tir na n'Og is free. Down to their last bits of hardtack and crayons, the citizens of the great city celebrate by feasting as food is at last able to make it in from the countryside. One elf in particular, the Chief Thundermancer Tomasin, is held in high regard for lead ing the tiny defence force to victory with her cabal of mages. When all seemed lost and the elven army to far away for aid, it was she who pioneered the BOOM LIGHTNING LOL defence tactic that saved Tir na n'Og from destruction.
Unfortunately she has, some say, celebrated a bit too much, especially in regards to food. Some might say it is hard, or even impossible, to gain 400 pounds in one month, but it is not, apparantly, for a hero of the elves. She now sequesters herself in her room gorging on lembas and writing emo poetry on the loss of her fabled beauty. What this means for the future of elvenkind is uncertain, but The Morrigan is pissed, to put it mildly.

In other words, getting heroic obesity on your A5 Thunderstriker sucks ***. 7 encumberence ftl... I wish there was some way to choose heroic abilities for your guys, my mages seem to get heroic obesity a lot.
At least she didn't get heroic stupidity...and her fat will protect her from stray arrows.