What's wrong about ganging up on people? Sure, it kinda limits the prospects of the poor dude who gets ganged up on, but such is life in a multiplayer environment. (If you don't like that possibility you could just as well play a number of 1-on-1 games, where you mod your later games to start with a stable of researches and more territory.) Either try to have some fun dealing all the damage you can, or go AI and start a new game. (and maybe try to be the one tripleteaming in that one)
And for the record: I have been at the receiving and of an early game triple-team gang-bang, so I do know what it feels like. (and while at some points all I did felt quite futile, I ended up having fun, and managed to destroy several invading armies before finally and inevitably going down. )
From my earlier gaming experience (mostly boardgames) I also came into this gaming expecting betrayal to be a real possibility. An alliance to me was something you enter in because it benefits both parties, but at some point in the game where 'there can only be one' either you or your ally would feel the time was right to end the alliance. Since the community here seems to feel that NAP's are rather inviolate, I stick to them too, but if that weren't the case I'd definitely try to make the moment of 'betrayal' come as a surprise, and to try to deal massive damage with an initial surprise attack. (Of course, in many cases this moment of betrayal would never come, because, well, if you really have a good alliance there would only be a need for betrayal when you are the two of strongest nations in the game when nearing the final decision. And let's face it, how often does that happen in 20-player games?
)
In my mind this doesn't (didn't) preclude strong alliances. In fact, I feel it makes for stronger alliances, since it's in your best intrest to make sure your ally really feels you're helping him out - and for your ally to do the same for you - so there's no reason for the sudden backstab. And I've allways felt the extra incertainity, and the need to plan for the unexpected worst possibility, while proceeding towards your main goal added to the fun too. Aniway, as I said, that's apparently not how the community here sees alliances/NAP's, so I go with the flow. But since you're talking about the 'intresting people' you find in newbie games: keep in mind they might be people who come from a gameing community where betrayal is indeed common, and just didn't realise yet how most people here see those things.
This
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in that game I got first attacked by a player that joined the game just because he lost with me in previous one and wanted revenge.
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on the other hand is just despicable - in my opinion obviously, though most people here will agree.