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Old April 10th, 2002, 11:12 AM

Askan Nightbringer Askan Nightbringer is offline
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Join Date: May 2001
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Default Re: If I were in charge ...

Ooo...so many ideas.

1. I would take the Union Jack out of our flag (Australian).

2. I would make the Queen of England work for her title as our Head of State. I'de have her sitting in our parliament trying to administer our pit-fighting style system of political debate ("Would the member for Bankstown stop calling the member for Bendigo a skumbag"). If she refuses to work I'de put her on unemployment benefits and make her live in Bondi, then let the Head of State be chosen from an annual "Chook" raffle.

3. I'de set up a joint currency with New Zealnd and Fiji and call it the Trans-Tasman Peso. I would mint the coins using opium extract to give them a real worth on the international market (well at least in the USA).

4. I'de instigate an "eat your own dogfood" policy for all politicians. This means that if your a politician you must use public services for everything. For example.
a) You must travel exclusively on the public transport system
b) Send your kids to public schools (for you UK types these are what we call the government schools in the colonies)
c) Use public hospitals
d) Invest all you money in a typical 0.01% interest rate savings account at your local bank branch (which has probabaly been closed down...but don't worry, there is another a mere 150km away!)

5. I would ban the use of "sensitive" phrases to describe anything. Things like "humanitarian intervention" (first coined by Hitler I believe) would have to be described as "Yes we are invading that damn country for our own reasons so just shut up".
"Downsizing" would have to be changed to "We're sacking lots of people so our directors can get fatter"
"Surgical Strike" would have to be changed to "We're gonna bomb that building +/- 15km/miles" (Anyone remember that "smart bomb" that hit Hungary during the "humanitarian intervention" in Serbia)
"Experimenting with drugs" would have to be changed to "he is a crackfiend"
I could go the phrases for days so I'll shut up on those ones. Maybe that would be another cool topic?

6. I'de reappoint Steve Waugh as the captain of the one-day cricket team.


As for some of the raging debates going on.

Seat-belts are compulsory by law here. It has always been so in my lifetime. I feel naked if I'm in a car without a seatbelt...go figure.

Taxes on fuel guzzling cars is very European, where everything is close. I drive 400km to go away for a weekend, screw the big car tax.

USA doesn't need to give military aide to the South Americans to solve drug problems. If the USA just stopped being such a big consumer of drugs then no market and no problem.

There's nothing wrong with a national debt. Every good investor knows that debt maximises your returns.

Stop picking on China.


Cheers all,
Askan
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