[Nocturnal]

"I'm a man of principles! And if you have a problem with my principles, I'll change them!"
- My bastardization of the following:

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."

"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."

"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."

"I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty."

"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again."

"Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?"

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music."

"Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member."

"Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted."

"I intend to live forever, or die trying."

-all Groucho Marx

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
-Stephen Wright