[DonCorazon]

Excerpt from an interview with Two-eyes on KNN:
“I’d like to thank my pretender, Coach K. He doesn’t say much, and some cynics say he looks like a block of granite, but after a night in Botulf’s tavern drinking 30 shots of Jaeger, I went to relieve myself right near the Kauthuga monolith. It was then I heard a rustling of noise behind the divine stone and a faint whisper that said “Two-eyes, you must set forth and travel to the great arena. Our nation is losing hope and can barely see. You are the last of the 20/20 vision werewolves, only you can bring back the gold to save Utgard from the evil elflings. Also, please bring back a hot dog for Ursula the ethereal Sethkona as well.”

Not one to question the mysteries of divine thought, I set forth and conquered, confident that the divine will of Kauthuga assured my victory. And now that we have the trophy, I’d just like to use this opportunity to encourage all of MA Eriu’s neighbors, including LA Abysia and MA TC, to consider joining forces with me in taking these elvish punks down. Thank you and check out your local cobbler for my new brand of sneaker, the Two-eyes Reinvigorator.”