As for the damage folks are reporting in PBEM campaigns - I think players are perhaps being too aggressive and "gung-ho" when playing against another human.
Time spent in early game recce and manoeuvring for position is seldom wasted. And if you
have received too many casualties, try to hold back and play defensively. Fight for the draw. If you are hurting, then stop sticking your dangly bits further into the mangle and see if he continues to push his further into yours?.
This is
not some artificial paintball game, where if 11 out of 12 of your team get themselves killed while the remaining guy sneaks round the back and "takes the flag" then his team wins because the flag is everything. Remember - the objectives are worth a maximum of 5250 (21 times 250) points, and that for a defensive game usually. Most VP comes from unit kills, as the whole point of warfare is the destruction of the enemy force, while
preserving yours not a fixation on some artificial terrain objectives. The V-hexes are therefore there as a "swing" factor, nice to have
provided you have not allowed your force to get badly destroyed.
- Victory hexes are totalled at the end of the game. So you don't have to lemming-charge them like the AI does.
- If you have 50% or a bit more of the V-hexes , you are generally doing fine. He'll have to come to you to get them, so set up a reception committee perhaps?. The AI always tries to go for all the VH locations - and look what happens to it!

. If you are badly beaten up already - stopping here is advisable, just probe him to keep him honest perhaps.
- If you have less than the above V-hexes, then use the same strategy. Your opponent may do an AI lemming charge, so a reception committee set up may well work for you too!. Especially if you think you are in a healthier casualty position than him.
- If you are in a healthy position, but have trashed his large-ticket items enough, you can get a draw, or even a winning draw without taking many V-hexes (in a meeter none perhaps!) at all. 60 points (usual meeter value) times 21 is about 1200 points - 3 challenger 2, or 12 centurion Mk 3. Take that off him, and he can have all the VH without challenge so long as you rack up more kill VP overall, you will likely draw at least.
Play cautiously & kill him without being killed yourself, let the VH fall into your hands only as low-hanging fruit. I would not have a head-butting session over V-hexes, and only go for these as part of a general sweep-up of an already totally trashed opponent. If doing an assault or advance, you will have to take
some - use lots of arty, concentrate on 1 cluster for starters. Only try for the others if your force is not spent taking the first one.
If you preserve your core, you will have less points to waste on fixing, and more points to spend on upgrades or to bank for a future bad hair day. The objective of the PBEM campaign is to score more points than your opponent, so an average of draws are just fine, so long as you get a few more wins overall than he does. Going for broke for the "total victory every battle just like a long campaign versus the AI" syndrome is simply not required. 2 draws and 1 marginal victory in a 3 battle PBEM series means you
beat the other guy!.
Cheers
Andy