Amid this soap opera of near global war, the current Prime Minister of Gath, Iosif Satriani wishes to announce that the scoundrels of LA Caelum have declared an unjust war against our peaceful and neutral mountain peoples.
All who crave and believe in justice, should note wisely the implications of this act, which are twofold -
First, while Gath is stoicly neutral in the face of regional events, we have maintained a healthy and technologically advanced defense industry. Our forces are highly drilled, and we anticipate they will be fighting mostly on our home turf, so the misguided death cults of Caelum are sure to suffer terrible and costly losses in their invasion.
Second, our top military advisors (most of whom have cashed in their vacation time and flown out of country now) have long projected that full military engagement with LA Caelum would have a 97% chance of negative outcome for the people of Gath.
Ultimately, only the other neighbors of Caelum can fully appreciate the ramifications of this act of gross and belligerent bully-warmongering. Caelum will profit greatly from their acquisition, and will turn from their appetizer to look for a more filling meal elsewhere soon afterward. However, in the short term, they will be significantly weakened, first by the heavy blow that we shall deal to their ill-thought invasion force, and then due to sending reinforcements to deal with the horrors of war in the holy land.
~Iosif Satriani
Prime Minister of Gath
"We don't want to fight you, but if you attack us, we'll make other people want to fight you."
