[licker]

Ulmish Commander: So forge priests of Ulm, when can we expect our new armaments?

High Forge Priest: Well, we'd really like to start turning out some weapons, but unfortunately we have no earth gem income.

Ulmish Commander: Excuse me? I thought that Ulm was a forging nation with high paths in Earth and a forge bonus?

High Forge Priest: Ahh, well perhaps you've been reading the history books too much. We're now a weak astral nation with a small forge bonus on our priests, who don't really have much earth magic to begin with. Oh, and we still don't have any earth gems.

Ulmish Commander: So what I am I supposed to equip my troops with? Sticks and Stones like those damn dirty apes?

High Forge Priest: Well, no it's not that bad, we still make decent enough gear, but if you want decent magic kit you'll need to find us some earth gems to use. I mean we could forge you some death, or astral, or nature items, except for one thing...

Ulmish Commander: Yes? Spit it out!

High Forge Priest: Well see, the forge priests don't actually have access to Death or Nature magic, and our astral magic is rare and weak. Besides the soothsayers claim they need all those astral gems for 'predicting the future'...

Ulmish Commander: So, you're telling me our fortune tellers couldn't figure out that we don't have any earth gems, and our forge priests can't use any of the gems we do have??? What a bunch of useless hags!

Soothsayer: I knew you were going to say that.

Ulmish Commander: Shut up!

Soothsayer: I knew you were going to say that, too!

Ulmish Commander: *sigh*... ok, so we've got forge priests who can make cheap items, but no gems for them to make anything with, and we've got fortune tellers who couldn't foresee this, and I've got to get my army together.

Ulmish emo goth kid: Blood! You need blood! and Vampires, and... damn, I just cut myself... hold on, let me dig up my Smiths CD...

Ulmish Commander: What the hell was that?

High Forge Priest: Yeah... see, Ulm now has been overrun by a bunch of these annoying all black wearing kids who keep on cutting themsleves thinking that they can conjure up some kind of Vampire Count or something. I don't really get it, but my kids tell me that all the cool kids are doing it.

Ulmish Commander: Uh huh... damn, I knew I should have stayed put at my last assignment, there were buff knights, and the forge priests actually had earth gems to use to make all kinds of sharp and pointy things.

Ulmish emo goth kid: I'm a creep.... I'm a weirdo... I'm... damn it, cut myself again, hang on...

Ulmish Commander: Ok, seriously, get that stupid kid out of here, and you, forge priest, get some earth gems, and find someone who can use them!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Well there you have it, Ulm is (already) looking for people with spare earth gems. Maybe you don't have them now, but if you do have them, we'll be happy to deal with you to trade for them.