First of all, are you saying you declared war on both Bandar Log and LA Marignon (there may be others but to be honest I can't remember the names of everyone who's at war with you)? That was a rather stupid idea, then (unless you mean you're the only one of my numerous warr-ers who I declared war on, in which case well yeah, but I'm not sending you money I don't have for a peace I won't be able to enjoy). Second-I think they understand you quite well. I don't think they fear you, either. I think, for the most part, they have one of three reasons:
1) To protect me and at the very least stop LA Arco from gaining a fort-rich area that is, admittedly, poorly defended. Not a very likely reason but still.
2) They originally had plans to attack you, and simply found a good cover-reason and time to do it.
3) They want a part of your quite large empire while you're still alive, hoping the combined weight will bring you down.
Of course, there's also Utgard, who you declared war on. I guess you really needed to open up a third front to pour resources into. Funnily enough, both Utgard and Ulm have been at war with another nation once before-with Eriu. Eriu was also at war with LA Marignon, actually. We all know how that turned out.
(one last thing-you've already admitted I've declared war on you. So, uhh, why aren't Ulm's people going to curse Monny? Are you assuming they'll be dead by then? Or is Ulm just too small to be of notice?)