Re: Joker: new game, new theme Submit Pretenders!
Leaked internal memo from the Temple of Tamakeri
From: Thunbu, High Priest
To: Initiate Fanbo
Fanbo, I seem to recall you saying "let's send out the troops to take out one of the mountain tribes. They're only poorly trained savages, after all, so they won't prove much of a threat."
Only one thing got in the way of this oh-so-cunning plan; OUR troops are the poorly trained savages, remember? If I ever track down the genius who first said that hide shields and loincloths were all a true warrior needed for protection, I'll stick his cost-efficiency predictions where they'll do the most good - and then issue him with said shield and loincloth and drop him in the spider pit. Then we'll see just how much good his 'true watrrior's protection' does him.
The rank at this memo's header can be considered accurate, by the way. You're also now assigned to supplies, where hopefully less can go wrong. You can start in your new post by arranging for the extra shipments of black leather required by Lord Tamakeri. Quite what he does with it all and why he prefers it in thin strips should remain a mystery if you wish to retain a position in the priesthood. When you've sorted that out you can start arranging a supplier for the metal spikes and studs Tamakeri requires, and then organise the extra rubber tree plantations we're apparently going to need in the long term.
Also, remind me to interview for a Receiver of Divine Visions post if I haven't done so by the end of the week. I spent three hours trying to get clean after the last one, and I still feel wrong. I'll never look at our sacred hippos in the same way again.
Thunbu
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