I play on Large random maps, with money, supply and resources set to 150% (more in later Eras), 65% sites freq. (less in later eras), 2 starting provinces (more in later eras) to add a bit of a random, indeps at 6 (more in later eras), easy magic research because otherwise I get bored.
But most important I personally design every pretender and play some turns, setting the nation AI later when I think it can "walk with its own legs" (bought some elite troops, conquered some easy indies). I usually give them an Awake SC or great scales.