From the desk of Mutombo Herschwitz, In-house Council of the Lord:
BillyWitchDoctor.com takes all complaints against him quite seriously. We think. I have begun an investigation into these allegations, in accordance with BillyWitchDoctor.com's presumed wishes.
Preliminary findings indicate that electronic "Virility Services" advertisements are indeed regularly sent from Machakan government servers. However, these advertisements are in support of the government's "Make Love, Not Shrunken Heads" campaign, which gives underprivileged tribal witch doctors a constructive outlet for their dark skills. Sort of like the Marine Corps. And unlike the "other guys," ML,NSH doctors have a proven track-record of success (why do you think our mages can turn into gigantic spiders?
)
Further, these advertisments are coordinated by BillyWitchDoctor.com's all-knowing nephew Google.com, and are therefore sent only to individuals explicitly known to have, er, room for improvement. That the Fir Bolg are receiving the bulk of these advertisments is entirely beyond our control.
Regarding the allegations of rampaging: in an unfortunate idolatry incident, BillyWitchDoctor.com accidently toppled from the pedistal of his godly ziggurat, and has been rolling Westward ever since. Some damage has certainly occurred, but the wise magistrates of the Western courts have since have recognized BillyWitchDoctor.com as the one, true, rotating god, and have dismissed all charges against him, save for a single citation of Excessive Speed in a School Zone.
We're pretty sure BillyWitchDoctor.com would like the opportunity to defend his good name in a court of law. He's probably happy to appear at the Supreme Court of Eriu promptly in Late Autum of Year 3; kindly send directions at your earliest convenience...
