At least the last one already exists, I'm pretty sure--the Xenophobic AI does not like to be messaged. Not so sure about the others, but most would be easy to mod in; I could do it.
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In each race's racename_AI_Settings.txt, there's an entry called "Get Angry Over Allied Colonizable Planets" which is usually set to TRUE. You might try changing that to FALSE, at least for the friendlier races. (I've never understood the logic of that defaulting to TRUE.)
Generally, the AI's mood won't improve as long as they can see you in systems that they've claimed. Gifts and favorable trades are about the only interactions they'll put up with, and they often won't accept those, either.
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I don't think that's the problem--although it was part of the difficulty in one early interaction with the Amon'Krie. I didn't understand the logic at first, either; then I remembered what the Memnorak did to me back in one of my first SEIII games. They were nice and friendly Vulcan-types and I let them colonize a lot of planets in my systems for mutual defense against the Ophoolo. Then when my fleet was off fighting the Ophoolo, the Memnorak suddenly turned into Borg.... In other words, if your ally betrays you and already has a lot of strength in your systems, you've got trouble.