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Old December 30th, 2008, 03:30 PM

MaxWilson MaxWilson is offline
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Default Re: A Few (Really) Good Men: Guide to Ashdod

Quick Ben has just recovered from several weeks of Chaos fever which he contracted sometime during the march to Capustan. He's secretly made a deal with the Barghast gods and with Talamandas, the (sort-of undead) Barghast shaman whom he rescued from the underworld, so that Talamandas will function as an intermediary to protect Quick Ben from the poisoning of the warrens, so that Quick Ben is one of the few non-Chaos mages who is still actually able to use magic within the Pannion Domin. Quick Ben goes out on the town to test the limits of Talamandas' protection and to enjoy having his warrens back. For sneaky reasons of his own, and ostensibly to deliver a warning about the Crippled God, he decides to break into the estate of two sinister necromancers named Bauchelain and Korbal Broach, who we as readers know survived the sack of Capustan mostly by being eviller and more powerful than the invading army. Quick Ben sneaks by the undead guards and is able to (barely) evade the demon Bauchelain set to guard the estate, and slips into the rarely-used warren of D'riss (stone) in order to move through the stone walls and penetrate the estate. He leaves Talamandas quaking in fear in the walls while he emerges to have a chat with Bauchelain, who is civil and unsurprised at Quick Ben's appearance but finds him interesting. There's a creepy scene where Bauchelain offers Quick Ben some wine and then chews out his servant Emancipor Reese for accidentally fetching virgin's blood instead (he can tell because of the taste). Korbal Broach, hopping around on the mantle in the form of a crow (or raven?), finds their witty repartee confusing and distressing and accordingly, says Bauchelain, wants to kill Quick Ben. Quick Ben warns him to stay where he is, whereupon Korbal Broach begins sembling back to human form in order (presumably) to attack. He doesn't get that far, though, because Quick Ben instantly blows him through the wall. Bauchelain is cooly impressed by Quick Ben's usage of half a dozen warrens at once (most mages have only one or two) and inquires of Quick Ben how he does this. Quick Ben declines to answer, and Bauchelain notes that one of his faults is that he is excessively curious, and when curious can become violent towards those who fail to satisfy his curiousity. As he begins to gather power, he notes again that Quick Ben's power is most impressive, but that, in retrospect, Quick Ben ought to have saved at least half his power. "But Bauchelain," replies Quick Ben, "I did." He then blows Bauchelain through the wall too.

In the next scene where we see Quick Ben, he is totally kaput and exhausted ("Now I *am* all used up", he tells Talamandas). But the scene with Bauchelain is classic.

-Max

Edited
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Bauchelain - "Qwik Ben iz uzin wallhax! HAX!"
Quick Ben - "lol pwned"

["Memories of Ice", by Steven Erikson. Retranslated into l33t.]

Last edited by MaxWilson; December 30th, 2008 at 03:35 PM..
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