Figured out the problem...totally my fault, llamabeast/server is completely innocent!
Basically, the very last thing I did before uploading the file to llamaserver was overwrite it with an earlier incomplete version. Killing the game during startup.
I've PM'ed llamabeast, hopefully it's just a quick .map file swap and we'll be up and running. Worst case scenario: we'll all need to re-upload our pretenders.
Terribly sorry everyone. How embarrassing...