Ironically, once you have it - it's not that great. I'm on disability because I almost died several times Last year due to my Cystic Fibrosis. I'm pretty stable now, but my breathing sucks. Anyway lots of time and technically retired at 30, and I feel worthless. I thought the exact same way as you when I was working 60+ hours per week as a remote technology expert...
That feeling of being a zero is almost impossible to overcome...
