[cleveland]

A foul day indeed, Tophats! The eight-armed menace has clearly demonstrated his dexterity, simultaneously stamping out the Aliens, swatting back the Goblins, and constricting the Capricorns!

The doomed Tritons that guard the Oceanian citadel salute the brave Shinuyamans that sacrificed their lives this day. We shall be sending an Encyclopedia of Water Breathing Manuals this turn to aid them in their struggle, and continue to offer our presses to any nation unwilling to be dragged to the watery depths.

Join our righteous efforts! We have expelled the squid from our walls, and our insurgency forces have begun attacks behind his lines! He will surely press his attack unless challenged! Strike now! The seas may yet not be lost!