[dogscoff]

Hmmm, smart business opportunity Dogscoff my man.. maybe I should invite you back to the board of Tigg-a PLC? (of course we can agree to change the name back to Tigg-Scoff PLC).

I mght be interested, but I want a promotion to Head of Interstellar Innovations (with appropriate pay rise), a seat of the Board of Directors, a company battlecruiser with aircon, electric windows and a wave motion gun, and a decent pension scheme.

I also want it written into my contract that the company has to give me three months' notice before terminating, executing, exsanguinating, decapitating, incinerating, defenestrating and/or disintegrating me and/ or banishing me to the bottom of the ocean, the depths of space, any desert or polar ice cap, Swindon, any parallel universe(s), alternate religious / ethereal plane(s) of existence and/or any other dimension or dimensions whatsoever (Alternate dimensions excluded in the event that company business compels me to use powerful recreational hallucinogens).

Furthermore, I want my plush top-floor office back, a guaranteed parking spot outside the Cantina and a pair of ex-FBWs as personal secretaries- both of whom must have been thoroughly trained at both secretarial college and Madame Ooloo's. I also want all junior executives to be compelled to address me as "Your Excellency" and an allowance to pay my personal bodyguard (Dermott, a 200 metre long genetically modified squid. It costs a fortune to keep him in whale meat.)

Given the state of your own company package, it seems to me like a reasonable proposal. Do we have a deal?

[ August 14, 2002, 11:43: Message edited by: dogscoff ]