[Growltigga]

Acceptable, if we can merge the "Narcotics and 'Play' Aids" Division with the "Persuasion and behaviour modification facilities" division

Hmmm, the current economic climate and fiscal restructuring of Tigg-A PLC makes the board loath to merge operating divisions at this time. If you wish to head a department, we have a vacancy as 'President in Charge of Genetics, Recreational Drugs, Fetishware and Rubber Goods" Division.. If I throw in an additional bonus, is that good enough for you?

I confirm that you are specifically Banned from going to Swindon. I am happy to throw in Leicester as well if that cheers you up.

*Middle* management? I won't settle for less than *Senior* management.

I am afraid there is only one senior manager at Tigg-A PLC - ME. You can be senior grade middle management if you want

Could it at least be arranged that lesser employees must cower in fear and soil themselves in the presence of Senior Management?

They do already but I shall send a memo round the company requiring cowering at the sight of you if you require

Very well, but I will require an allowance to pay an awe- inspiring personal bodyguard of some kind - one who is completely independent of the company

I am afraid this too is a no-go. Tigg-A PLC is a friendly working environment and accordingly, there is no need to bodyguards.