[dogscoff]

Hmmm, the current economic climate and fiscal restructuring of Tigg-A PLC makes the board loath to merge operating divisions at this time. If you wish to head a department, we have a vacancy as 'President in Charge of Genetics, Recreational Drugs, Fetishware and Rubber Goods" Division.. If I throw in an additional bonus, is that good enough for you?

Actually, I think I prefer the first offer. The wage isn't a major issue, having ammassed untold wealth from my exploitation of the oceans. It's the perks I'm interested in=-)

I confirm that you are specifically Banned from going to Swindon. I am happy to throw in Leicester as well if that cheers you up.

Good.

I am afraid there is only one senior manager at Tigg-A PLC - ME. You can be senior grade middle management if you want

Very well, I will be senior grade middle management, but is there any chance that everyone else of that ranking is bumped down to junior grade middle management?

They do already but I shall send a memo round the company requiring cowering at the sight of you if you require

Good. Oh, and I forgot to mention that my ex-FBW personal secretaries may cower a little if they wish, but are excused from some of the more extreme bodily expressions of awe.

I am afraid this too is a no-go. Tigg-A PLC is a friendly working environment and accordingly, there is no need to bodyguards.

Okay, no personal bodyguards. By the way, this lovely 8-foot tall lady with the horned helmet, titanium battle-corset and evaporator cannon is Doris the Immasculator. She is my personal fitness advisor and wellbeing enforcement assistant. I have to stay in shape, you know. I'm sure a friendly and progressive company like this one would approve of any such initiative which helps to ensure the continued good health and productivity of it's valued employees.