[Krakenup]

Originally posted by TerranC:
Just don't choke.
Or, like what most people are doing nowadays, take the heimlich maneuver, readjust the hand positions *Slightly* and call it whatever maneuver. Since the hand position is different, and the resulting outcome is unknown, and *probably* differ from that of the original they can't sue you.

Two friends were eating lunch in a restaurant when a young lady at an adjacent table began to choke on some food. One of the men jumped up, grabbed her, turned her upside down, pulled her pants down, and started to lick her butt. She coughed, sputtered, and thrashed around trying to get loose when the food that was choking her popped out. The man put her down and went back to his table. His friend said "I've never seen anything like that. What were you doing?" His friend replied "That heinie lick maneuver works every time."