[dogscoff]

Dogscoff heads leisurely back to the table, and silently offers thanks to the laws of cartoon physics which preside over the Cantina.

A quick Schlockmercenary- style note on the laws of cartoon physics:

The laws of cartoon physics are much like normal physics, but with certain amendments to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle. It all comes down to quantum physics:

In normal quantum physics, the Uncertainty Principle proves that the state of certain sub-atomic objects is fundamentally unknowable. This is essentially due to the fact that these objects can be either waves or particles depending on how the observer chooses to measure them- the observer can measure its momentum or its position, but by measuring one he makes the other unmeasurable. Thus, the more is known about one, the less is known about the other. In fact, ironically, the only thing that can be known exactly is how much can't be known. These laws only apply on a quantum scale, but on that scale anything is actually possible - a particle could immediately move to the other side of the universe, although this isn't very likely, so probably doesn't happen very often. However, since the macroscopic world we live in is made up of countless tiny quantum particles, the implications for philosophy and even theology are immense - there is an implication that the whole stability of physical reality depends on whether or not anyone is looking. It certainly is not in keeping with the old determinist notion that the that the universe ticks on whether we're here to look at it or not, and that the future state of an object can be accurately extrapolated from absolute knowledge of its current state and application of known physical laws. Under quantum physics, the best that can be done is to work out how likely a possible future state is. It was this leap into the realms of statistics which prompted Einstein's famous statement that "God does not play dice with the universe".

In cartoon physics, all of the above applies, but with the added proviso that the uncertainty of a particle's state is governed not only by how that particle is being observed, but by which state the observer would find funniest. In other words, by observing an event, the observer makes the outcome with the highest comic potential the most probable one. The practical and philosophical implications of this theory are even more unsettling. For example, when Cartoon Einstein made the statement "God does not play dice with the the universe", a giant pair of pink, fluffy dice fell immediately and inexplicably from the heavens and squashed him.

There are some excellent short films published on the subject by Prof. Chuck Jones, and for those who are really interested, there are courses in cartoon physics at Warner Loonyversity.

[ September 27, 2002, 10:22: Message edited by: dogscoff ]