[ZeroAdunn]

I have steared clear of this thread thus far because I have seen no need to say anything, but I cannot let this rampant and blatent missinformation continue to go unnoticed.

Lawyers are not EVIL because of their knowledge or expertise, lawyers are EVIL because they in league with the lawn gnomes, which as we all know, run starbucks and work in Microsoft's mailroom. Ultimately, as all people who took kindergarten advanced political science and its effects on legos know, the upper class of gnome society is primarily not lawn gnomes at all, but ducks in silly masks. And of course as anyone who has spent any time studying Pokemon and sixties B-movies knows, the ducks are attempting to control our minds through the use of tin foil and cheese, which is why you should never have these two products in your house, especially not while the hair dryer is running, because as we all know the hair dryers are beaming Marx's manufesto (groucho's, not karl's [that bastard stole my watch!]) into our toes when we sleep. And if you people would just take the time to read a little, maybe pick up a copy of How to make Grandma Murth's Five Alarm Chilli you would know that the toaster is just an innocent bystander in this whole affair and you would stop hitting the poor toaster with a golf club because that is just mean!

So in conclusion, buy new eye toner, it may make you blind, but damn will your eyes look good!