[Gandalf Parker]

Exactly.
But WTF since thats been the way it has been with every incident for as long as I can remember it.

And its not likely to change. Or at least it shouldnt. As long as it involves posting something like "well in a private email to me he said".

This is not unusual. Ive moderated many forums, and online worlds. Its fairly standard to confront someone in private about their disgressions. And its also fairly common that the final straw occurs in those private conversations. Therefore, we will never really know what that final straw was.