I can understand. Personally the how-to manuals dont do me as much good as actually seeing it done. YES you can get pretender just like you want. It shows up on the choice list, can be chosen, and can be accessorized like any other pretender choice.
The confusing thing about pretenders is that you arent actually building a pretender. You are building a unit as you would any unit in the game. There is very few "pretender" commands. One is pathcost (how many points to get a magic path). Another is restrictedgod if you want to specify only certain nations that can use it. But basically you are building "just another unit" with the regular unit commands up until you add those few pretender ones.
Here is a thread with lots of discussion and a downloadable zip file for JUST ONE NEW GOD
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/showthread.php?t=42795
View the .dm file in the zip. Its just an ascii text file you can open in notepad or wordpad. Look at it while using the manual and it might help. You could even copy it to a new name adjust go thru it looking up each item and changing it to fit your god idea.