[dogscoff]

Crazy dogscoff belches magically and is instantly transformed into a dung-beetle, and hastily eats himself an escape route through the poo, away from the weight. Once free, the insect performs a mystical little dance and crazy dogscoff is turned back into himself- albeit a skinny, even wilder-eyed Version of himself with a shaggy, 5 foot long beard and a pair of chipped and dented antlers fixed to his head. He is also completely naked, the only things he could be said to be wearing are a collection of twigs in his dirty hair and an old pendant on a tatty bit of string around his neck. Only Primitive (who knows a lot about runes) and mlmbd (who has a GNVQ in shamanistic rituals) recognise the rune of chaos inscribed on the pendant.

Crazy dogscoff does another little dance, kind of like a sailor's jig, and all eyes turn to the poo-pile. After a few moments, a small tobacco pipe emerges from beneath the surface, searching periscope-like for the can of spinach floating nearby. It finds the tin, burns it open cartoon-style and then sucks the iron-rich contents out.

There is a faint rumbling. The poo-pile quivers, and then explodes in all directions, showering everyone for miles around in foul-smelling crap. Powerman's ship takes a hefty dollop up the exhaust port and crashes to the ground in a very stinky explosion. Taz unzips his brown fur suit (now covered in brown poo) and steps out of it, this time wearing clean but bright orange fur.

Meanwhile, at the epicentre of the excremental explosion can be seen a huge, towering, muscle-flexing buffalo with a pipe, sailor's hat and anchor tattoo. Crazy Dogscoff jumps up and down in the freshly-redistributed poo, clapping with glee at this new mischief.

The vegetable-enhanced ungulate snorts angrily and goes on the rampage, impaling and trampling various people at random, while crazy dogscoff performs another of his magical dances, this one resulting in a torrent of beer and drunk frogs falling from the sky. As the sticky, croaky rain falls and the beserk bufallo chases David Gervais around in circles, crazy dogscoff goes to the crash site to find Powerman. He pulls a dazed PM from the wreckage, and immediately gives him mouth to mouth resuscitation. Shame he forgot to clean his teeth after the dung-beetle transformation...

[ April 14, 2003, 16:17: Message edited by: dogscoff ]