It's actually possible to list ships according to their orders (look under Fleets/Ships/Units?) but it would be nice if there was some right-click context menu so you could jump to them or even pretty much give them an order on the spot i.e. if you just want to move them to another system you can select it right there from the map.
Then you could have a filter to list ships with no orders, ships with just movement orders, ships with cargo orders (drop/lift/move), and more complex orders. Even list them by destination, maybe.
I don't think you can utterly eliminate 1AM errors, but there are some little nips and tucks and warning lights you can add to prevent them. It's a question of not overloading the interface with too much extraneous information
