[dogscoff]

After a week of frantic preparation, the Tigg-scoff bithday party is ready to begin. The gates to the Party palace are thrown open and the jostling masses outside are admitted. Creatures of all species and persuasions from across the galaxy file in and seat themselves at the plush tables, admiring he opulent decorations and attractions around them.

The giant rotating Kylie statue is the centrepiece, squirting out champagne as planned. Teams of cheerleaders can be seen on the sidelines, practising their moves for later when they will support the FBW tag wrestling tournament.

Screams, followed by the gurglings of auto-cloners can be faintly heard as competitors in the Bill Gatres clone creative pain threshold competition practise for the big event.

Hundreds of "Tiggettes" - sexy women in little more than Tiger ears and tails - are performing amazing feats of trapezery above the tables.

Everyone is just starting to get into the swing of things when the music stops and a drum roll commences. It breaks into funky music and the dimmed lights give way to lasers and spotlights which pick out the first guest of honour. It's Dogscoff. He makes his way through the crowd, shaking hands and receiving thanks for the party along the way. Doris (his Valkyrie personal wellfare enforcement officer) follows, wearing slinky black number which not only shows off her impressive curves but her terrifying array of concealed weapons. Dogscoff eventually arrives at the central table, which overlooks the honey-filled wrestling pit and has still an empty seat reserved for Growltigga. The party can't start until he's here. I'm sure he'll make a good entrance...