Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours - Page 156

Kamog · #**1551** November 12th, 2002, 05:12 AM

Wow, it seems that everything I've heard about vampires is wrong... is it true that you need to drink blood?

TerranC · #**1552** November 12th, 2002, 05:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kamog:
Wow, it seems that everything I've heard about vampires is wrong... is it true that you need to drink blood?

The person that dracula was based on, no.
Although nailing 3 people on the head to the wall while alive was done...

Several Edits: Darn, I really need to use the preview.

[ November 12, 2002, 03:43: Message edited by: TerranC ]

Growltigga · #**1553** November 12th, 2002, 10:46 AM

Yeah TerranC but I think you need to qualify that as Vlad Drakul only nailed Turks to the walls, and the Turks were invading at the time so I suppose there is a modicum of justification

Growltigga · #**1554** November 12th, 2002, 11:21 AM

AWOOGA AWOOG AWOOGA - Cantina alert, Cantina alert

We have now passed 1550 Posts, it strikes me that this is an appropriate time to begin thinking about closing down the cantina..... Dogscoff and Gryphin, you and I need to discuss potential mayhem, plans to take over the world etc, I have some ideas, send me a PM and we will talk over the master plan.

Fyron · #**1555** November 12th, 2002, 11:23 AM

Why close the Cantina yet again? Sounds crazy to me.

Edit: By the way, I fixed my sig so that now I actually say "Onions" in every post.

[ November 12, 2002, 09:29: Message edited by: Imperator Fyron ]

Timstone · #**1556** November 12th, 2002, 11:37 AM

Fyron: I'll modify my timetraveling gearbox. When you say O..o.s in the cantina, my gearbox will transport you into another plane of time. It's up to you to get back again. Ehh... the gearbox is not traveling with you of course, that would be too easy. Happy timetraveling, dear Fyron.

dogscoff · #**1557** November 12th, 2002, 12:25 PM

Ahhh, it's that time again is it?

*Dogscoff puts in a call to his orbitting battlemoon and soon a five-hundred-strong squad of genetically-altered bio-mechanical suicide demolition lobsters march into the cantina, taking up position in strategic structural points.

"OK boys, we haven't yet decided the right time to bring the Cantina down, so hold on to your fuses for now. We might even destroy it in some other way altogether, but you being here will make sure everything goes with a Bang when we do."

Dogscoff looks at the exploding crustaceans and wonders what the point of them wearing hardhats is. To illustrate the point, he stamps on a lobster which promptly detonates, throwing Dogscoff across the room to land behind the bar.

Growltigga · #**1558** November 12th, 2002, 12:41 PM

Something worse than exploding lobsters looms on the horizon, Growltigga, up in the cantina observatory with his large telescope, catches sight of his nemesis, and promptly needs to run to the loo in terror

Growltigga · #**1559** November 12th, 2002, 03:41 PM

A van pulls up outside the cantina with "Health & Safety Executive" written on the side of it....

Growltigga is cowering in the toilet, gibbering with terror and desparately calling for more paper

dogscoff · #**1560** November 12th, 2002, 04:40 PM

The health and safety execs walk into the Cantina, armed with nothing more than white coats and clipBoards.

Everything goes quiet.

They move around the room, with Tig, Dogscoff and Taz following dejectedly. The officials read aloud as they add items to the list of health and safety hazards.

Item: One beaten and bloody Bill Gates clone and auto-cloner. When was the Last time you had this thing washed, hmm? The auto-cloner's filthy as well. Minus 8000 points.

Item: One highly dangerous and unpredictable wall-mounted Graviton Hellbore, minus 20000 points.

Item: Bartender appears to be a tasmaninan devil, species Sarcophilus laniarius Cartoonus. I don't care how often you wash your hands, Mr Taz, I fail to believe you can keep all that slobber out people's drinks. Minus 15000 points.

Item: Approximately four hundred and ninety nine loose lobsters. Minus 4990 points. Are these on the menu Mr Scoff or are they customers? Exploding lobsters? Minus 49900 points. tyhen again, they are at least wearing hard hats, so we can overlook this item.

Item: One non-western vampire. Kindly turn that cloaking device off, Mr Fyron, it's very rude and your powers are useless against Health and Safety. Do you have a license to serve the undead Mr Tigga? No, I didn't think so. Minus 75000 points.

They continue their listings...