Forum Chat Bar & Grill

[Puke]

carefull with the escelation, chaps.

[NullAshton]

Ready the barbecue cannons!

The food-processing robots promptly mount sauce cannons, and pepper Strategia's forces with barbecue. Barry gets a large meal today!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

/me will teach Puke escalation!

The Salagull and Seamander forces charge into the B&G, taking his new gherkin legions by complete surprise. Almost half of them are slaughtered before they can react, and the rest is quickly finished off.

"Sooo Puke..... about that escalation thing?....."

[Puke]

puke sits calmy and sips his spaten. Looking about the floor that was cleaned by the food processors, he sees exactly two gherkins.

one is quickly eaten by the gullamanders, and the other runs.

Ashtons food processing bots hose down Stratigan's new army with aforementioned BBQ sauce, as they look about the now clean B&G, wondering where the fight went.

With one sweeping 'chomp' Barry inhales half of the gullamanders. The battlesquid, deprived of its spicy gherkin snack, reaches out with its multitude of limbs and starts sucking raw BBQ flavored meat off the bones of the other half.

Sorry Stratigan, I already won the socc---football game. You'll have to come wait for the teams to be assembled for the rematch. Have a pint.

[NullAshton]

Ashton walks through the oddly clean battlefield, and sits down at the bar.

Do you have any soda?

[RudyHuxtable]

Rudy walks into the B&G, and sits calmly at the bar. He surveys his surroundings, and begins jotting things down on a PDA.

He notices puke and the gang, waves, and goes back to jotting down notes.

[AgentZero]

"Hmmm.... Funny... Looks like Guinness... Doesn't taste like Guinness though. Wait a minute. Doesn't look like Guinness either!"

Agent Zero swishes a mouthfull around in his mouth before spitting it distastefully back into it's glass.

"It's..... Bud" he snarls.

Onlookers will later swear that the shadows deepened as Agent Zero slowly raised himself from his stool. He slowly turns about the Bar, his nose seeking the smell of roasted, malted barley & hops, until his gaze settles on El Phil. El Phil tries to appear nonchalant, but as AZ moves forward, he panics and drops the Guinness he was hiding behind his back and tries to run.

Only to slip on the spilled Guinness and land squarely on his face. In a flash, Zero leaps across the bar and nails El Phils hands to the floor with Zero's two swords. Agent Zero then yanks down El Phil's pants and administers a spot of colonic irrigation a la Repeating-Custard-Pie Rifle, followed by a rectal de-hairing courtesy of the New Improved (by which I mean enlarged) Red-Hot Poker Cannon, and finishes the job with a blast from his Compressed Tabasco Sauce Gun.

Zero then nicks a fiver from El Phil's wallet and gets himself a replacement pint. Seeing GrowlTigga staring at him in mute shock, Agent Zero shrugs.

"I know, I went too easy on him. But I left my Ravenous Pirhanna Launcher at home."

[El_Phil]

"Thank God I sent my good twin in to do that job for me." El Phil comments. "That looked really unpleasant, not as bad as the Bud of course, but not nice."

[NullAshton]

The bots quickly clean up the spilled beer. Some of the bots are starting to eye Puke...

[AgentZero]

El Phil speaks too soon, as Agent Zero, having wandered off after his pint, returns with his Ravenous Pirhanna Launcher locked and loaded. After the obligatory concussion on the way in, Zero empties an entire Pirhanna clip into El Phil (the REAL one, this time). As the medics arrive and begin desperately cello-taping bits of El Phil back together, Agent Zero heads for the door.

"That," he says over his shoulder. "Was almost as bad as the Bud."