The Race to Insanity and Beyond!

[El_Phil]

Elaborate hat damnit! So making it from a mixture of gold, platinum and diamond in the shape of a wilderbeast. Something like that

[douglas]

douglas places a solid gold hat with a life-size solid gold statue of an adult elephant standing on top of it on El_Phil's head. Sorry, but the statue is an integrate part of the hat, and a small device in the base of the hat just surgically attached it to your skull.

Have fun trying to stand up.

[El_Phil]

Hmmm if I hadn't fitted an anti-grav generator in my hair many years ago that could be inconvienient.

Luckily in a effort to save money on hair gel each of my hairs was fitted with a sub-quantum anti-grav emitter so they can levitate the hat.

Now kneel surfs! This hat clearly proclaims me to be your king, like pulling Excalibur out of the stone but heavier!

[douglas]

It seems rather implausible that antigrav generators meant to reduce the need for hair gel would be up to the task of supporting something that big, but I'll let that pass. You still have to deal with the hat's mass. It won't press you into the floor, but every time you move you have to exert enough force to make the hat move with you. If my math is right and my estimate of the volume of an adult elephant isn't too far off, it's at least 100 metric tons. Even without having to overcome friction, that's a lot to move.

[NullAshton]

Ashton sticks anti-grav drives on the elephant.
There you go. Go off smashing douglas to the ground with your new hat

[douglas]

NullAshton said:
Ashton sticks anti-grav drives on the elephant.
There you go. Go off smashing douglas to the ground with your new hat

No effect. Antigrav neutralizes weight, not mass, and El_Phil already had antigrav devices holding it up.

[El_Phil]

Very well! Time for the king of all headbuts with a carefully timed switch off of the anti-grav drives!

BLAM

Kahhnnn!

El Phil summons the Geeskat charioteers who charge in from the B&G. The head Geeskat sees the problem and uses his adamntium coated serrated penguin beaks to slice off the hat. It is then taken back to their mountain fortress in darkest Assyria as a trophy!

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia turns, and lets out a shriek as he sees the elephant. Thinking it's a yellow Trelyi Beach Elephant, he takes out a pulse bazooka. The red dot of the target laser flickers across every critical body part of the elephant, until Strategia spots Phil.

Thinking he's let the elephant in, the red dot slowly flickers on Phil, moving about less and less, until it's movement radius is about one millimeter.

The cleaner bots'll need to bring some large-scale biomatter removal apparatus to clean this mess.....

[El_Phil]

Strategia is so fouced on El Phil he isn't looking behind him. At the hundreds of very annoyed Geeskat pulling the golden elephant hat away. They don't take kindly to their leader being threatened. As the room echos to hundreds of rotary pulse grenade launchers are pulled out and primed Straegia realises he may be in some trouble.

[douglas]

Meanwhile, back at his main control room, douglas watches through satellite surveillance as the giant gold hat is carried to El_Phil's fortress. One minute after it goes in and out of sight, he presses a button, shutting off the containment system for the 1 kg of antimatter secretly hidden in the very center of the statue.

So much for that mountain fortress.