Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Ragnarok]

Rags strolls in the Cantina and grabs his nose at the smell. He is wondering what the heck it is when Dogscoff, who obviously is hung over, tells him what happened. Or what he remember of it anyways.
Rags begins to feel really bad about not getting in here in time to get the device to him. But then Rags points out that the device was on the bar the whole time. But apparently no one saw it.
Rags apoligizes to Tigga and he buys him whatever drink he wants.
Rags gulps down his drink and stumbles out of the Cantina still feeling bad about what he caused to happen.

[Growltigger]

Rags, many thanks indeed for the free drink, the bottle of 1954 Mouton Lafayette Formidable generously priced at 18,000 minerals goes along way to redress my hurts...

but look.. what it doesn't cover is that between Dogscoff and yourself, my tender parts have been whipped off, exploded, regenerated, inflated, double inflated, triple inflated and then exploded again and are currently hanging in pieces across 3 counties...

I have a certain status as a feline casanova to maintain, and how can I do that if my peaches are non-existent and non-functioning?

what I want to know is what you and Dogscoff are going to do to remedy this situation? I am going to look bloody silly mounted on Barry leading a chase if I have no gonads aren't I? the killer mongoose just wont follow a leader who is short in the lovepump department....

[Ragnarok]

18,000 minirals?!?! Well there goes my life for about 3 years.

Well I don't know how we can fix it. Only thing I can suggest is go back in time using Timstones gearbox and take your old gonads before they exploded 3 times (or more) and bring them back to the future (now) and have someoen sow them back on. (Perhaps that FBW over in the corner that is eyeing you and licking her lips.
That is the only thing I can suggest for now. Maybe dogscoff has some ideas.
I will let you know if I come up with something else.

Edit: A couple spelling errors.

[ January 13, 2003, 17:41: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]

[David E. Gervais]

..Gt, I said to use a 'pin' not a knitting needle! Mind you I can see where you might have had trouble griping something as small as a pin, but you could have had one of your FBW's tend to you!

Ah well, a painfull lession, but one you'll surely not forget.

..and I concur, you should investigate the time-travel solution proposed by Rags. Some might say that by going back in time you're altering history, but in this case, I believe the effects will be limited to 'Your' history, so I vote you give it a try!

Cheers!

[David E. Gervais]

Gt, I think I have a temporary solution for you,.. What you have to do is get to a zero-g enviroment and a cool one at that. then you'll have to apply a patch of ductape to each of your 'royal expanders' and carefully puncture a tiny hole through the ductape and that should release much of the perverbial hot air Rag's device is generating in there. Remember, make the hole as tiny as possible, I suggest a #2 pin like the ones used by taylors when hemming a thin fragile material. Like I said this is only a temp solution and the major brawback is once the 'jewels' are down to a more managable size, you'll have to remove the ductape. I further suggest you get as drunk as possible before removing the tape. Here's a 40 ounce JD to help with that.

I must warn you about one danger,.. if you use too big a needle your 'jewels' could 'POP' like a baloon! I don't need to tell you how painfull that would be.

Cheers!

P.S. if the skin on your jewels has stretched to the point of being semi-transparent then it's too late to try this temporary solution.

[ January 13, 2003, 12:22: Message edited by: David Gervais ]

[Growltigger]

Cheers Dogscoff, I think your link is possibly incorrect or spurious...

I do love the "They do, Huck. I guess the principles of Liberty and Truth really aren't much good up against a 4000 BlatterWatt Phased Polaron Array" line, one of the finest of the Sci Fi literary genre I feel...

OK, that cheered me up but my plums are now reaching gargantuan size and are in severe danger of taking over the cantina..... HEEELLLPPPP PLEAASSSEEE, I know need two baths to cool down my incorrigable hyper-powered genitalia..... keep that ice cold pump running please......

OK, following David Gervais' advice, I am now preparing to pop my plums..... AWOOGA AWOOGA all cantina patrons take cover, all cantina patrons take cover....AWOOGA AWOOGA

[ January 13, 2003, 12:33: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by growltigger:
I feel much better too David Gervais,.. and the happy owner of a chromed pair of testicles....

hmmm, stainless steel might have been a better choice, after all who's gonna notice? Your 'plums' are internal-mounted aren't they? I just had a thought, you could always place a patch of transparent-plexi skin in the front, that would have the same effect as showcasing them!..

..and now I stop typing to preserve any sanity I have left!

Cheers!

[Timstone]

You forgot the coolers, for when they are in heavy use.

[ January 14, 2003, 15:14: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[David E. Gervais]

..I walk into the Cantina to celebrate my recent promotion. I think my new ID photo turned out ok!

Cheers everybody, the drinks are on me!

[Growltigger]

Happy promotion David Gervais, Growltigga purs all in the cantina a nice glass each of Chateau Lafite Rothschild Mousardin. RIght MR Gervais, that will be 37000 minerals...

Thanks Dogscoff, but I think these nadgers I have are going to do me proud, especially as it says tank capacity 4 litres on the side of them..... and the chrome plating on the outside of my happy sacks is really useful, especially when I am trying to pluck nasal hairs or defluff my navel...