Newbie Slug Fest - Mose Hansen game - ENDED

[Beorne]

The Panther said:
Good war, Steerpike. You and Jontunheim attacked me at the worst time (for me) since Abysia had just started a war with Vanheim and I jumped on that bandwagon. But I then jumped right off and abandoned that war to hit you back when you both invaded me. Now, it looks like Vanheim is mostly dead from the combined might of Abysia and Pythium, even without my help over there.

I've made it to turn 41!
Valhalla can wait longer! (not much longer, I think ...)

My only regret is that I can't help my only allied being crushed to help me ...

Thanks Arco!!!!!

[PashaDawg]

Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep <sound of typewriter in background> Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep

We interrupt our broadcast of “The Sound of Music” for this important lightning news flash. The Office of His Almost Most Highness, Graham Grassbahl, the Great First Lord Chancellor of the Divine Exchequer and Trainer of the Imperial Poodle Ponies, has released to the capitol press office of Central Ulm National News Incorporated Network (CUNNIN) that PASHA, the GREAT BLACK IRON LORD of ULM, has issued a Proclamation of Defensive Offense against the Caelum Dominion of Panther.

“This is NOT a declaration of war,” insisted His Almost Most Highness Grassbahl. “It’s a preemptive peacekeeping mission. Caelum’s continual and unprovoked hostile actions cannot go unanswered. As all civilized lords agree, the magical garbage [Caelum] is ruining the pastoral landscape for all peace-loving dominions. The Noble Jotunheim Giants and Honorable Arcoscephalens have already borne the brunt of our mutual self-defense. We only hope that we are not too late and encourage all the GREAT RACES to join this unfortunate but necessary crusade to clean up Caelum’s toxic thaumaturgic waste [img]/threads/images/Graemlins/Poison.gif[/img] poisoning the environment.”

Now back to our program.

Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep <sound of typewriter in background> Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep

[img]/threads/images/Graemlins/MusicalNote.gif[/img] [img]/threads/images/Graemlins/MusicalNote.gif[/img] “Alone on a hill stood a lonely goatherd… “ [img]/threads/images/Graemlins/MusicalNote.gif[/img] [img]/threads/images/Graemlins/MusicalNote.gif[/img]

[The Panther]

Ah, the great peaceloving nation of Caelum should hire his own lawyers to spread untruths too. But our news network will use the truth only, unlike the false Black Iron Lord of treacherous Ulm.

The nation of Caelum has never invaded a neighbor on its own. Even the unprovoked attack upon Vanheim was but a response to an attack by them upon Pythium and a subsequent invasion by Abysia. It is Abysia who now owns the former capitol of Vanhiem, not Caelum.

The near elimination of the threat of Arcoscephale was in retalliation for a totally unprovoked attack upon our very homeland! And the giants too invaded our beloved homeland and are still sitting next to our very capitol. Several warnings have been issued to our fine people as they frequently must hide underground in the hopes of survival.

And now, the treacherous nation of Ulm has also launched a completely unprovoked attack upon our nation. This was despite a long-standing border treaty with them and previous peaceful trading missions.

So, this is a warning to all neighbors of Jontunheim and Ulm. They are untrustworthy nations prone to unprovoked attacks. Do not believe their missionaries. And since the majority of their troops are currently sitting in Caelum territory, then now would be a fine time to capture much unprotected territory from both warmongering nations.

Thus ends the true report from the Inland world. No lawyers need apply!



*But sir, isn't your own daughter now studying in the University of Caelum to become a lawyer herself?

Shaddup!!!*

[Steerpike]

Im hurt boys...hurt real bad...
However elimination is rather a strong word. I would say 3 turns is realistic.
As to my unprovoked attack... I plead guilty your honour.
Im man enough to admit that my only provocation was being completely surrounded by two nations sitting on top of most statistics tables (thats you too Abyssia you shy thing)who were calmly carving up my very weak neighbour and looking about for another victim.
ME.
Your retaliation was a thing of beauty, I must have lost 9 provinces to your first attack and perhaps 8 to your second.
The bottom line is I have learned more in this game than in months of single player and I have loved every turn. Especially the bad ones.

Not...dead...yet

[KroolDeath]

And to think this,peace-loving Pythium just wanted to be left alone!

Krool
Pythium

[deccan]

Deceptions and lies, fellow nations of inland...

The devious Panther would have you believe that he is helpless, his people cowering from the onslaughts of Jotun giants, Ulmish armor and Arco elephants. Yet far indeed it is from the truth, for his mages sit smug and safe in his high towers, and fly out at their leisure to devastate our lands.

Verily we admit that our plan to war against Caelum has been concocted in secret meetings, yet would you rather have us wait until Caelum destroys us one by one? Better than we unite and fight for the common good than wait for a slow death.

You may heed Caelum's call to arms and strike at us while our warriors are dying to Caelum magics, and you will perhaps win victory and glory. But your victory will be short-lived indeed, for in doing so, you shall assure that the day will come when Caelum seraphs appear in the skies above your own cities and fill your heavens with lightning and illusionary horrors. Then shall your victory turn to ashes as the skies themselves bLast all that you cherish and love to nothingness...

[DragonFire11]

"preemptive peacekeeping mission."

I have to steal that phrase before the white house gets it.

Anyway, I'm having trouble again networking to the game. I'll keep trying.

[deccan]

Heh, you killed some more ice devils this turn...

[DragonFire11]

But my end is near I fear!

[The Panther]

DragonFire11 said:
"preemptive peacekeeping mission."

I have to steal that phrase before the white house gets it.

I have to admit that there is nothing more fun than playing a game with Pasha Dawg. He was constantly giving us these hilarious news flashes in Newbie Game 2. I thoroughly enjoyed them. He was the Evil Spider Lord back then, and always frothing at the mouth.

He also seems to come up with nice catchy phrases like that one above. Probably because of his law training, as that kind of people must always think with words to do a good job. I too thought of President Bush when I read that phrase. I seem to bungle words myself. Give me a nice equation or an electrical circuit instead!

Anyway, this has been such a fun game all around with people who sure like the game that we ought to do it again when this game ends. And what I liked best was that there were no quitters. I have been in a couple of MP games with quitters, and it really spoils the whole thing.

At one time, I was thinking that this game might end sort of soon with me winning. But now that three nations invaded me, I am not so sure. Probably Abysia is now on top. It is certainly going to be a long, drawn out battle for me. I have not even dented the armies of either Jontun or Ulm as yet, as you all can clearly see from the army size graphs.

At least I did hurt Arco real bad, though, and took nearly all of his former territory!