Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[Power Man]

Power Man steps through the portal.
As he looks around he see some old and as well as some new folks.
He walks over to dogscoff and sees the plans for the new cantina.

"If I may, I would like to make an addition to the place."
Power man takes out a deck of playing cards and proceeds to build a small house of cards just to one end of the plans.

There is a puff of smoke and the small house of cards disappears from the table.

With a bigger PUFF of smoke a shinny dark wood door appears in the far side of the cantina.
On the door is a brass sign that reads "CARD ROOM No Food Allowed "

It appears that along with the poor gravity and the laws of "toon", it looks like there may be some "Pun Power" in this new universe.

Power Man opens the door and inside we see that a new addition has been made to the cantina.
Inside the card room we can see some gaming tables with fine green coverings. A deep red carpet is on the floor. There is a table for Poker, one for Black Jack (or Baccarat for you Continental folks ) and one just for fun. Each table comes with a Fuzzy Bunny Dealer (FBD) dressed in outfits that make it hard to keep one's eyes on their cards.
The room features different sets of lights (even UV) that can be adjusted for just the right amount of light.

Power Man says, "I came looking for a place to hold a good card game. Now maybe I can finally get one."
"Dogscoff, we can discuss what the "house cut" will be later."

Power Man heads to the bar.
"Thanks for the offer Katchoo, but I don't feel like having any spaghetti right now. I guess you must also use "head cheese" in your recipe? "

"Hay Taz, were are the tribble wings??"

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
roughly translated from computer into english:
'potiential dangerous chemical reaction. self-spreading. danger to wearer: none. suit systems 95% functional. suit armor 83% functional. danger to wearer's food: 5 minuts, 19 seconds, estimated. precision not needed. danger to others: unkown. danger or potential help from others: uncertain. owner disaproves of out of control 'fire'.'
pshhhhhhh. ''fire' neutralized. biological tagged as poteintaily dangerous. prepare combat systems at next emergence. no engeagement without engagement. current environment suitable for wearer.'

Taz, do me a favor, turn off the TV, it's annoying when Narf is broadcasting!

Want to hear something funny? Narf was trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. I don't know if he was having fun, but he sure sounded genuinely perplexed about it not fitting! I tried to help him but he was much too distracted to hear me!

Ah well, next he'll be playing with marbles!

Cheers!

[dogscoff]

*dogscoff looks about at the work done so far, and is pleased. It looks a bit like the Last Cantina, but otherwise is coming along nicely. It's pretty cool to have a mobile establishment too, although so far in this universe there's nothing to go and visit, just a random collection of matter and objects floating around and bumping into one another.

Hmmm...

*dogscoff writes something on a beermat, signs it and throws it back through the portal. The note authorised his agents in the old world to make a little purchase using dogscoff's remaining funds. After a while his purchase squeezes through the portal into the new universe. It's a dreadnought, equipped with a master computer (named Hodmimir), some stellar manipulation components, a quantum reactor and a repair bay. Dogscoff gives the ship orders to "go forth and make us some interesting stars and planets and things to visit."

Unfortunately, dogscoff didn't have enough money for a brand new master computer, and the one he has bought is... shall we say... part-worn. You know what these cheap AIs can be like after a little use, they can get a little... quirky.

"You want 'interesting', do you?" says Hodmimir, before giggling maniacally and zooming off into the nothingness to fulfil its task. Who knows what it will create...

[narf poit chez BOOM]

[ooc: can i help it if the suits overprotective? don't worry, i'll come up with funny. at the very least, the burgening fued between me and deadstar should provide some.]
loud clunking noises are heard coming from outside. it sounds like a salvage ship latching on to something.
[to bad he got his stuff of first. oh well.]
narf chuckles. then he points his finger at a darkened, unnoticed corner, and says "nano: kareoke machine". a stream of nanobots quickly builds a kareoke machine, then returns to his body. narf grins quietly to himself
[my character specialises in quiet mischief...so no one knows who did it square peg in round hole? perhaps. how do you feel about pranks? ]

[ April 18, 2003, 03:38: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

[ooc:what, katchoo got your tongues?
uh...
*whacks himself with T5xE3PDH*]

[ April 18, 2003, 08:11: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

[Katchoo]

Originally posted by Power Man:
Power Man heads to the bar.
"Thanks for the offer Katchoo, but I don't feel like having any spaghetti right now. I guess you must also use "head cheese" in your recipe? "

*munch*munch*slurrrrrrp*munch*

"Hmmm...? Oh, no...no cheese...i'm lactose ignorant..."

Katchoo turns to look around the bar and sees everyone staring at him. Or ignoring him. He can't really tell since he has meatsauce in his eyes.

"C'mon everyone, eat up!"

Spaghetti sauce spits out as Katchoo speaks, spraying most of the bar with red sauce.

*slurrrrrrrp*munch*munch*munch*

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taz serves Powerman his tribble wings and returns to the bar just in time to see Katchoo spraying sauce on the bar. Taz does a double take as he notes Katchoo is eating what seems to be spaghetti out of his head.

He wants to be angry at Katchoo for the mess but how can he blame a critter that has such a handicap?

Taz decides that he will experiment and see if he can determine if Katchoo is an intelligent customer or some out-of-control pet.

Taz carefully opens some very hot pepper
(the kind that comes in sealed lead containers with flashing warning labels) and sprinkles the pepper thickly over the spaghetti. He figures that an intelligent critter should be able to learn NOT to eat his own brain. (even if it is spaghetti)

Taz then stands back to see the results of his first test.

[Katchoo]

*munch*munch*lipsmack*lipsmack*

...?

Katchoo starts to feel a tingling sensation on his head. Pulling out his bottle of Head & Shoulders Meat Sauce, he smiles.

"Wow, it tingles, so it must be working!"

Tears stream down Katchoo's face as he contiues eating the spaghetti that grows in place of hair.

*munch*munch*slurrrrrrrrp*munch*

Off in the corner, the barbarian eyes Katchoo. Could the barbarian possibly mistake Katchoo for the mythological figure known as Medusa? Could he...?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

'biological upgraded to strange catagory 4, yuck catagory 2. note for base: group 12-14 year-old programmers idea 3.7 point effiency upgrade, o.r.c. scale. catagory naming -0.5. difficulties in data exchange with sentients (that means people). note preceeding programmed interjection (snob). 0.25 resources diverted for non-esientials.'
[ooc: the o.r.c. scale is out of 10.]
narf takes another look at katchoo. 'yuck' he thinks.
then he decides to keep an eye on taz. he might not approve of the goop slowly starting to peel off the ceiling. or, he might approve. or, spoil it for fun. 2/3. narf puts some bait (salted nuts) down on the table below while taz is ocupied.
he considers some string in katchoo's spagetti...but he's too likely to get caught. besides, 2 pranks on something is overdoing it.

[ April 19, 2003, 09:27: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar emerges from his corner and orders yet another apple juice and then returns to his sanctuary. The entrance is now complete with a specially added enema firing cannon to keep away any mischeivious little "oiks". He smiles to himself as he notices his medium transport being towed away and quickly opens up his laptop and sends a message to the ship, smiling as the self destruct device explodes taking the bloody thieves with it!*

Right.... Now Narf! I'd love to have a feud with you, but i am currently waiting for Ragnarok, if you've read the Last few pages of the old cantina you will notice i'm currently busy feuding with him, but i'm sure if you insult Powerman he will give you some violence(or whatever you're looking for )

*As Raging Deadstar smiles to himself he throws his voice to where narf is standing. "ONIONS!" Raging Deadstar feels a suitbale measure of revenge has been achieved and watches as the "oik" is buried under a pile of Onions. Then he pulls a black hole out of his pocket and slides it underneath the large pile of veg and watches as it crashes down into the basement with a satisfying crash of pots and pan like noises. He then lies down on his sofa and loads up his napalm spreader, soon Ragnarok will come, and RD will be waiting *brood* *brood**

[ April 19, 2003, 11:50: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]