Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave - Page 33

Kamog · #**321** June 4th, 2003, 03:50 AM

Kamog goes down to Engineering to see what kind of cleanup work is required... there's thousands of little alien-droid parts scattered all over the floor. Kamog picks up some of the bigger pieces to examine, but nothing looks salvageable. Oh, well.

OK, where's the vacuum cleaner? Kamog opens the door to the little storage closet in the Engineering area. The vacuum cleaner is covered with an inch of dust, spider webs and dead bugs. Also in the closet are fossilized banana peels, apple cores, a broken broom, a leaky bucket, and some mummified rats. When Kamog brings out the vacuum cleaner, the wheels fall off.

Giving up on the vacuum cleaner, Kamog picks up the broken broom and sweeps up all the droid bits from the floor.

After finishing the cleanup and putting the broom away, Kamog looks down the hall and sees the pretty space marines. "Wow, I didn't know we have Liv Tyler clones on board! Maybe I can get them to teach me space aikido!"

Kamog goes up to the Liv Tyler clones, and they are all watching the view screen. ...What? What's this on the screen? Some of the clones start looking at Kamog, then at the screen, and then back at Kamog again.

"Hey, that's not me! I don't think that's Commander Erax, either. We didn't do that, it's fake!" The Liv Tyler clones don't seem to believe him, and Kamog quickly leaves the area.

Erax · #**322** June 4th, 2003, 06:24 PM

Kamog finds Erax and lets him know what is going on. The two of them try to analyze the tapes to prove it's a forgery, but their skills are inadequate. Erax takes a turbolift to the bridge and tries to avoid everyone's gaze as he walks up to the Captain's chair.

"Cap'n, that tape we just saw is a fake ! Unfortunately, only Mr. S'Katchoo has the skills to analyze it and prove our, er, innocence in this matter. We must find his brain and get it back, Kamog's reputation and mine depend on it !"

In a lower voice he says,

"... And yours too. If Starfleet hears of this they might wonder what kind of Captain allows this sort of, um, fraternizing among his officers."

Growltigger · #**323** June 4th, 2003, 07:06 PM

Oh lord, you are right Kamog and Erax, no Galactic Federation Starship has ever had a couple of felching officers on it!

Mr Power Man, find us that brain knicking female immediately.

Power Man · #**324** June 4th, 2003, 07:20 PM

Captain : I have detected power readings from deep in the planet. I cannot get a good enough reading to beam a team directly there. I can put a team down on the surface in the center of the ruins. I suggest you put an away team together and see if you find away in from there.
You had best bundle up Sir. It is COLD down there.

Raging Deadstar · #**325** June 4th, 2003, 09:32 PM

*As the Captain prepares his away team the camera pans across to the planet and zooms in to the icy wasteland. Patrolling the perimeters to the ruins are two deadstar scouts. Two vanessa feltz clones stalk forwards on all fours with a turbolaser turret mounted upon their backs. Standing on top of them are two Deadstar scouts. They're both wearing purple and black costumers simmilar to what that silver number that seven of nine wears. Now that the away team has ideas of intimate liasons with these two patrol units may i remind you that these scouts have the ability to suck the life out of anyone they choose, an added ability this particular race has. (*Hint* anyone caught tampering with these guards will have to have very low sexual prowess and the ability to finish in under a minute! I'm sure the good Captain wouldn't want people with such a lack of sexual ability on his crew) They stalk the outsides of the ruins, protecting the deadstar research team who are studying an alien race and culture in a village a mile or two away! It seems the Away team may have some trouble if they beam down to the ruins

*

Growltigger · #**326** June 5th, 2003, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Senator Raging Deadstar:
(*Hint* anyone caught tampering with these guards will have to have very low sexual prowess and the ability to finish in under a minute!

Hmmm, flash of inspiration there for the good Captain I feel. Right, for this away team, we need Commander Dogscoff (where is that reprobate??), Taz, Kamog, Erax and, if he would like to join the crew for once mission, Narf Poit Chez Boom or whatever he calls himself.

Chaps, take the phaser rifles with you and dress up cold. Assemble in the transporter room whilst I get the photon torpoedoes and planet buster missiles ready to be fired on a moment's notice. Dont worry, the honour of the Galactic Federation means that I promise not to fire them until you are safely off the planet (fingers crossed).

Make it so

dogscoff · #**327** June 5th, 2003, 09:58 AM

*Dogscoff arrives in the transporter room wearing full battle armour and sporting a massive gun like the one Vasquez had at the start of aliens. He is also wearing a set of pastel blue fluffy ear-muffs.

Erax · #**328** June 5th, 2003, 06:07 PM

Erax joins Dogscoff in the transporter room. He is wearing a snow-camo parka with lots of pockets with tools and such. There's a phaser in there somewhere, now if only he could remeber which pocket it's in...

Growltigger · #**329** June 5th, 2003, 07:02 PM

Captain Slog - Stardate 1800 GMT, I am about to send my intrepid crew down on a potentially lethal away mission to the planet. We have detected signs of life on the freezing iceball we are orbitting, and we are also convinced that the Evil Deadstar Continumumumum is involved in this heinous plot to steal our science officer's brain.

I suspect the Deadstar Continumumum have some evil plot hatching, it probably involves some Vanessa Feltz' clones with laser turrets mounted on their backs and an evil ability to suck the life out of any red blooded male who can Last longer than a minute with them. YOu never know what those cunning fiends are up to...

I feel that I should go on this mission. It is potentially too dangerous to send the crew on, and I should be there to lead my troops into danger. Of course, I will be wearing the most advanced and toughest battle armour known to galactic science, as well as being festooned with grenades and carrying "Bertha", my favourite 4 barrelled twin plasma cannon.

The Captain suits up, gets a couple of red shirts in tow and heads down to the transporter room....

Kamog · #**330** June 6th, 2003, 02:43 AM

Kamog shows up at the transporter room wearing a heavy, down-filled winter jacket. On his utility belt is a tricorder, a PPG pistol, and several ninja throwing stars. Across his back is an old samurai sword. In one hand, he's carrying a phaser rifle and in the other, a nice bouquet of flowers.