Forum Chat Bar & Grill

[Raging Deadstar]

RD realises it's a Canadian, Not a Goa'uld. Strange how they can get mixed up... He takes his seat and feels slightly more comfortable knowing that some hand device thing won't destroy his brain. He hears some exclamation about FBW's and quickly shouts over to the now "sloshed" Agent Zero.

"You might want to look at the Cantina History, Especially Circle the Wagons and The Gryphin Position!"

RD quickly writes a note on Agent Zeros bill for the Guinness and delivers it dutifully.

Growltigger Once Long Ago said:
Key attributes for a FBW (other than being a natural beauty) is a disinclination toward wearing clothes, and being awfully willing under pretty much any circumstance - oh, they have to be quite good at waitressing as well

RD turns back to the canadian, and looks him up and down...

"Ok, Cut the suspense crap, Why do you have glowing green eyes?"

[AgentZero]

Agent Zero staggers to his feet, a vile stream of profanity spewing from his mouth. Even a fool should know that even all the Guiness in the world can't keep an Irishman down. However, smacking your head on a table when you slip on the stuff will do the trick nicely. Realizing he is soaked head to toe in Guiness, Agent Zero rolls his eyes strangely, activating a command in his retinal recognition software. The Guiness soaking his clothing sprays out in every direction, yet every drop manages to land in an empty glass belonging to the other patrons.

"That round's on me, lads!"

Agent Zero then notices the bill nailed to his shoe.

"Oh. I guess it is actually on me. Bugger."

Agent Zero strolls over to the bar, flicking through his credit cards until he finds his US Government Slush Fund card and hands it to Woundwort. In response to the newly-promoted General's query, AZ tells the barman to file the charge for 76 litres of Guiness under Entertainment/Jenna & Barbara. After payment is accepted, Agent Zero tucks the receipt away, then tips Deadstar generously for defining FBW.
As he turns to leave, he catches sight of David's new bodyguard, and stops in his tracks. The two stare at each other across the room, and the whole cantina grows silent. Agent Zero tilts his head to the left, then the right, cracking the vertebrae in his neck. David's bodyguard slowly cracks one knuckle after the other and unhooks her holster-guard. An electric charge runs through the cantina. The tension is unbareable. Soon the place will errupt into the most unprecedented level of violence any cantina has ever seen. Deadstar and Woundwort hastily begin filling out insurance forms, while the other patrons begin edging towards the windows.

Then, most unexpectedly, the two nod courteously to each other, and Agent Zero heads out the door in search of FBWs, and of course the meaning of Mac's cryptic reference to 'the O word'.

[General Woundwort]

Woundwort watches the visual showdown between AZ and Dave's bodyguard with interest. However, the moment quickly passes.

"Pity. That would have made for some juicy entertainment. *sigh* The place just isn't what it used to be."

Woundwort files the receipt in the cash register and resumes polishing the bar, keeping an eye on RD out of the corner of his eye.

[Cipher7071]

Bah... grunts Cipher with a glance over his shoulder as he finishes off the last of the green bottles.

"Not at all like the the old days..."

Then he notices the almost-full glass of what at first appears to be stout in front of him. But further inspection reveals just a slight green tint, along with the rather undesirable characteristic that the contents tend to cling to the side of the glass.

"Might there be something behind that bar that says Saint James Gate on it? I do believe this product has turned."

[Renegade 13]

"Ah, well the secret to glowing green eyes...that can never be told"

As Renegade is talking, a small greenish orb drops from his left eye. Rolling across the table, the small electonic eye (with obligatory green glow) knocks gently against one of RD's knuckles.

"Ok, I guess the secret can be revealed. But I think I like this look better anyways; one glowing green eye, one relatively normal eye, if you discount the fact that it's entirely black, no white at all. You do know that I have to kill you now don't you? After all, the secret of the glowing green eyeballs can not be revealed."

Renegade jumps across the table, and begins shoving dry ice down into RD's sputtering mouth!

"Sorry old friend, the secret must not be told!"

[AgentZero]

Renegade is suddenly hurled clear across the cantina and lands in a crumpled heap next to David's bodyguard, who proceeds to administer a few to the prone figure's head. RD, after unceremoniously expelling a significant quantity of dry ice looks up at his saviour. Agent Zero, being very tall, smiles down at him.

"Nobody, but nobody harms the bringer of beer as long as Zero is around."

Agent Zero then meanders on over to David's table, ignoring the icy stare from his bodyguard.

"Is it done?" asks David.
"It is," comes the solemn reply.
"Excellent. Now for the love of God man, wash the blood of your hands. You're going to draw attention!"

[General Woundwort]

"Tsk tsk tsk. I just knew RD would get himself into trouble. It's just in the grain of the universe. Perhaps you'd like a dry martini to wash down that dry ice?"

"Now then, Cipher, my fine chap, let me see if I can scrounge up some of that Saint James Gate you're looking for... SANCHO! Hrmph Never around when he's needed..."

[Cipher7071]

"Ah... very good, General. But, perhaps you misunderstand. On a bottle of a true stout it tells the place of its brewing. In the case of Guiness, that place is St. James Gate, Dublin. We'll make a bartender of you yet, General. But it does beg the question, what of Taz?"

With that, Cipher removes a small tin and cloth from his pocket, and attempts to polish away what remains of the green goo that was splashed on his nickel-plated hide.

"I've not seen Taz since the last melee."

He glances down again and notices that his polishing compound, although it seems to have acted as a solvent on the goo, has only served to spread the blemish upon his person.

"Oh, bother. I thought this compound would remove anything. There's only one thing for it, I suppose."

With that, Cipher's countenance became blank as the fabric of his existence began to shimmer away to his lair deep within the Mandelbrot set. At the vanishing point, the film of goo, compund, and tarnish fell away as a fine dust upon the floor. In a second, back he shimmered upon the stool, none the worse for wear.

"That's done it. Interesting what one can do with applied mathematics. How's my timing, bartender-General, have you located that stout?"

[Renegade 13]

Hey, isn't David's body guard a woman? In that case, I won't mind "a few to the prone figure's head."

After a...uh...momentary distraction, Renegade pops up from beneath David's table. Looking around, seeing only red, he discovers the red is not from anger, but from the gash on his forehead.

"Oh well, that'll heal fast..."

Having a new victim in mind (and a more vicious attack), Renegade spots Agent Zero standing next to David. Actually, he appears to be trying to hide behind the great man. Hmmm.... Strolling over to AZ, Renegade taps him on the left shoulder, then moves to AZ's right. As soon as AZ starts to turn forward again, Renegade taps him on the right shoulder, and moves to AZ's left. Convinced now that some form of hideous demon is haunting him, Agent Zero spins around in circles until he lands rather unceremoniously on his rear. Renegade then pounces on him (with bucket of dry ice in hand) and proceeds to fill Agent Zero's nasal cavity, mouth, ears, and whatever other cavity is within reach...don't worry, not that one!

"Ah, revenge is sweet indeed!"

[General Woundwort]

"Got it right here. Beg pardon about the name mix-up. The Boss is the expert on the brews from that side of the pond - my expertise is in East Coast microbrews."

Woundwort pours out a Guinness, neat, and sets it in front of Cipher.

"This one's on me - maybe that way I'll have some incentive to learn the craft a little better. "