Forum Chat Bar & Grill

[Alneyan]

AgentZero said:
"Great. War, Death, Famine and Pestilance at my table. Does anyone want to trade seats?"

Agent Zero, the would-be boss wants you in briefing room pronto! You will be leading the vanguard of this hostile takeover bid. Briefing in five minutes, so get ready!

Goes away quickly, hoping there won't be any unfortunate side effect with the riders Now why do I have the feeling I am going to regret this, very soon...

[General Woundwort]

"I see the natives here have itchy trigger fingers. Don't get too far ahead of yourself, Alneyan. I'm not The Boss, just his contract employee. It's not yet a hostile takeover bid - Rudy still has some time left to come and negotiate. And I'd tread a little more lightly around AZ and his friends - I know I am."

Woundwort is busy cleaning and loading Tommy-gun shaped blaster rifles while saying this. He pauses and taps on his wrist computer.

"Sancho! Have you got the mattresses laid out yet?"

[Alneyan]

"You mean this isn't the place where the ruthless got promoted, where intrigue is the fastest way to get anything done, where even a mundane request requires cunning, and where plots between the employees are a dime the dozen? Do you now actually need to *work* to become boss? Or even work honestly? Now that would be quite the surprise, really, quite the surprise.

'sides, you sure are a talented boss, and you would've been promoted anywhere else. Might makes right, and remind yourself of what happened to Dogscoff. Another competent employee, even an associate of The Boss... and you know what happened to him. Not a pleasant fate that and...

Erh, by the way, what did you mean by being more careful? Doesn't the place look after the patrons? Isn't the Security Hit-squad here to quell any hint of trouble? Ah. I see. Now if you will excuse me..."

[General Woundwort]

"Hey, Rudy is a newcomer, I thought I would cut him a break before cutting more... vital areas. "

"And didn't you notice the 'All Patrons Enter At Their Own Risk' sign by the door?"

[Alneyan]

"I wasn't speaking of Rudy (may the powers that be protect him, he will need all the help he can get), but of your own boss. Truly, you should make a nicer spot under the sun for yourself, but who am I to say eh?" *Grumbles* A shame, it looks like there won't be any major succession crisis in the place... not yet anyway. It would have been so fun, oh yes... We should have liked that.

*Clears his throat* Hmm, where were we? Oh, that sign at the door. I didn't actually enter the Cantina see, but I was more like dragged in here, after having been knocned out. At one moment I was sipping the One True drink, and the second later, here I was in the Cantina, still feeling groggy and all. So you see, I did not enter the Cantina, and so the sign does not apply to me. Really!

Goes away from the bar, painfully aware of the weakness of that last argument, and goes at the other end of the room, farthest away from the riders and the angel. Now let's see if I can become invisible by sheer force of will...

[AgentZero]

The conversation between Agent Zero and the Four Horseriders of the Apocalypse seems to have ended. For a long moment, there is silence, then, inexplicably, the five begin playing Paper, Rock, Scissors. One by one, the Riders are eliminated, until only Zero remains. He leaps to his feet, one hand raised in triumph.
"Wooo! I win! Um... What do I win?"
"Leadership, and therefore control of the forces that we Riders wield." War informs him.
"Coool! Death! Go poke Renegade!"
"I'm afraid it doesn't work like that."
"Awwww...."
The Angel of Death leans forward ominously."As he who controls the forces of Armageddon you must seperate the worthy from the unworthy, decide who will perish and who will survive the coming inferno."
Agent Zero looks suitably shocked."Out of the whole forum? Did you guys lose on purpose?"
Famine ignores the second question."No," he says in a voice like dry, crackling leaves."You must simply decide between the two cantinas. One will survive, and the other will be annhilated in a holocaust of divine & demonic energy that quite frankly, will look really cool."
Agent Zero's shoulders sag."Seems like an awful lot of responsibility to dump on a guy for winning a Rock Paper Scissors game."

[General Woundwort]

The courier drone, lately seen at the Won Ton Take-out Hut, returns to the bar at the FCB&G, and spits out a printout. Woundwort tears it from the droid's "mouth", reads it, and scowls.

"Well, Mr. Huxtable has returned to his 'establishment', and promptly ignored both our messages."

"I can only say I tried to be reasonable."

"SANCHO!!!!"

Sancho trots out of the kitchen, where he has been quite busy making mounds of Italian food to keep the "hired help" satisfied.

"Yessir?"

"Spread the word. The balloon's goin' up. This is now officially an all-out turf war."

Sancho hesitates.

"Your audio receptors not working? Send out the mobilization codes! NOW!"

"Yessir!"

Sancho puts an old-fashioned whistle to his mouth and blows a three-note pattern. From every corner and booth, pinstripe-suited thugs appear from nowhere, armed for bear. From the storage area of the Grill, a phalanx of Pinwheel combat droids (bought on remainder from Lucasfilm, and heavily refurbished) roll up and flex their weapon pods.

"RD, quit poking holes in the ceiling with your slugthrower, and suit up. We're going to war!"

[Renegade 13]

Renegade materializes from hiding, skirting around the 4 horsemen, and joins the growing mob.

"Argh Matey! 'Tis time for for some lootin' an' plunderin' and killin' on the high forum seas! Arrrr..."

[i]With that, Renegade grabs his Horrible Emasculator of Doom, along with a cheap rip-off of the Red Hot Poker Cannon, and borrows Primitive's unused Rusty (yet Pointy) Spear©® (thanks Primitive!) and hopes that he won't have to use these on any of the patrons of the new upstart place....

[General Woundwort]

Woundwort watches the Trojan Horse robot in the Won Ton lobby fulfill its explosive duty, with a smug smile of satisfaction on his face.

"Gosh, they're making this almost too easy."

"Renegade, I'm going to send the combat bots over next. Care to join them? "

[Renegade 13]

March with them? No no no. Far too foolish to march. However, I will join them in their assault...though mine may be more subtle than a marching platoon of bots. That is, if my scholastic duties do not force me to zip away from here for indeterminate amounts of time. But rest assured! I will come, sooner or later, to affirm the rights of Growltigga to be sole proprietor of any place of rest and leisure (and scantily clad waitresses) in the SEIV universe!

Actually now that I think about it, how subtle can a Red Hot Poker Cannon be??