Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Puke]

feeling the urge, puke heads over to the lavatory for relief, only to come bounding out with a look of shock and horror upon him.

"What dastardly bastardry is this?!" puke demands, as he plunks down a quarter to rent a Prussian helmet and a Flammenwerfer. puke disappears back into the head, followed by the sounds of high pressure fluids being combusted and the short-lived screams of the loo-worshipers.

returning much relieved, yet facing the inquiries of the loo-worshiper-supporters, puke replies: "it was icky in there. and besides, religion isnt a topic of polite discussion in public. or anywhere else."

[Raging Deadstar]

Lol yep, i wonder what growltigga has in store for these pygmies? i mean poor old mac, at his age (or so i'm told ) getting such a struggle each time he needs to relieve himself, it could give him a heart attack, and gt won't be pleased with a regulars death!!! Also they're kinda under his possesion as he owns the cantina. Anyway he's a lawyer, i don't even think the advanced loo worshipping, toilet brush weilding, tree shaped air freshner attracted pygmies will even try to argue with a lawyer!

*Dream Sequence*

GT smiles prodly as he stands before a press conference and drops a huge curtain. After many hours of painstaking work he'd managed to train the pygmies to wear uniforms, take tips and use air freshners and now was marketing them as toilet maitenance workers, the newest household appliance!!!

*Dream Sequence Ends*

I can just see Growltigga walking into his "cantina office* and purring loudly as he swims around in his cash note filled swimming pool as more falls from the roof!

Ooooh Puke, as much as i don't believe in religion i do not think you have made a wise decision *points over pukes shoulder* The great god of the septic tank has arrived, with more, now slightly angry (and smelly!),pygmies!

*The scene where puke is attacked by the formentioned creatures cannot be described! Though be sure there was lots of fecal matter, loo brushes, toilet roll and godly powers involved*

Genocide is never a good thing as puke found out, well unless its on SEIV, then i guess its ok. I mean if they start war, then refuse to surrender what else can you do except attack them with troops???

[ September 02, 2002, 19:51: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Taz-in-Space]

...Taz, flinching slightly as a nasty piece of somebody else's business goes flying past his head, decides that he will have to do something quick before things get out of hand.

Moving quickly he starts throwing Bill Gates clones into the melee, while signaling the FBW's to release the two cases of trained mongooses stashed behind the bar for emergencys.

The loo worshipers now sufficently distracted, he glances over to the so called 'Sewer God'.

Going into the well known 'pee-pee dance', Taz manages to get the attention of this Diety and enters into hasty negotiations...

... 3 cases of air fresheners, a lifetime supply of squeezable tissue paper, four brand new Flush-O-Matic 3000's (with optional auto-wipe attachment), and a gross of powered loo brushes later; said 'Sewer God' has withdrawn wence he came taking his worshipers with him.

I suggest that until a more permanent solution is reached, the customers use the half-dozen Port-O-Potties being delivered just off the patio area!

[Timstone]

All hail to negotiator Taz! He saved the cantina!!
But also hail to Puke, for he started the liberation of our toilet!

Now the toilets are out of order, can't I relief myself on the womens toilet? I have long hair and otherwise I must walk all the way to the patio.

[ September 03, 2002, 11:04: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[tesco samoa]

The website

[Timstone]

??
You're not making sense here...

[tesco samoa]

The Onion.

I am answering a question from about 3 days ago...

http://theyrule.orgo.org/

[Trajan]

Theyrule is very nifty! I wonder how long it took them to put it together.

Cheers!
Trajan

[Timstone]

Okay, it's time to go now. I've sat around long enough. Time to do some armsshipping and earn me some bucks.

*drinks up his Last bit of beer*
*Prepares to leave*
*searches pockets*

My keys, where are my keys?! I swear I put them in this jacket! Now I can't get my ship started again! Damn! I left them in my other jacket.
Ahhh, I will be stuck in this cantina forever!

*Takes a moment to relax*
*Takes a look around*
*Thinks*
*Steps on a table*

Ahum! Everybody, quiet, please! I have lost my spaceship keys and now I can't start the damn thing let alone board it. Could someone lend me a hand with opening my tin spacefaring can? Maybe a snipershot on the locking mechanism of my door?

[ September 04, 2002, 16:08: Message edited by: Timstone ]

[tesco samoa]

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and onion in history...
http://www.theonion.com/onion3832/history_3832.html