Forum Chat Bar & Grill

[NullAshton]

The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut has now moved, to a neutronium hut in orbit above the old location! Come to the U.S.S. Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut now!

Ashton walks out of the B&G, and is then lifted up into space by invisible gravity beams.

[El_Phil]

Strategia_In_Ultima said:
Strategia walks in, several B&G patrons reach for their photon, quantum, and goolauncher weapons, but realize in time there exists a non-competition agreement.

"Say, if that jukebox is threatening you, I would be willing to help you with it.....? It's been far too long since I had an opportunity to use my Quantumplasma Gatling Launcher....."

"Sadly the Jukebox has been possessed by the spirit of Captain Kirk whilst he had a ripped shirt. It cannot be defeated. At all. You can pummel it with solar system killing missiles and not only will it survive, it will then hit you with a double handed chop 'o' doom, or worse a giant monkey wrench that it summoned into existance. The worst thing is: It hasn't even got any arms!

Besides it adds excitement and danger to the pub atmosphere.:

[NullAshton]

Just put some alien women near the jukebox, and it'll be harmless.

[El_Phil]

Ahh but the Jukebox is only held in balance by the conflicting forces of Kirk and the evil random play feature.

If one is distracted then the other takes over, so by distracting Kirk we unleash the random play. However if we distract the evil random play then we would unleash such horrors as Shatner doing 'What's New Pussycat'....

Out of the frying pan into the solar inferno really.

[NullAshton]

Put it in a soundproof room with random play distractions.

PS: What would happen if you distracted Kirk AND the evil random play?

[El_Phil]

No-one knows, what could distract both Kirk and an evil random play feature? Come to that what could distract an evil random play feature? A really good looking button decorated with solid platinum? Some attractive and well written source code?

If you wish to try moving the Jukebox feel free, but it is fearsome when roused...

[Raging Deadstar]

Growltigger said:
and by the way, who the hell said I come from Manchester. Whoever that was is DEAD (unless it is Raging Deadstar who is at best a Cumbrian sheep molesting salad dodger with a taste for ovine bearded clams!) I work in Manchester, I live in Cheshire, I come from Kent (god's own earth, land of the free, home of the dastardly and brave, the best cattery in the world etc)!!!!!

Hey, there's still got to be some residual taint from that place, I make a point not to visit Manchester more than twice a year Can't really knock Kent though, it's a nice place.

As for Cumbria, you being English and all may have heard the ridiculous claims of "The Curse Stone" in the news from Carlisle. Says a lot about the average population here. Hope it raised a laugh.

Anyway, Manchester has unholy taint, Cumbria only has radiation I hate to think what kind of people run Sellafield Nuclear Plant (formally Windscale)...

[NullAshton]

Ashton sends attractive alien women to the jukebox, while slowly feeding the box the SE1 sourcecode.

There you go.

[El_Phil]

What have you unleashed?

NOOOOO It can't be! But it is

It's Celine Dion's 'greatest' hits. I don't know what's more dangerous, the music or the oxymoron of the CD's title. Clearly there is great evil in that machine only being supressed by Kirk and the random play function.

El Phil Yanks the women and code away from the jukebox to preserve sanity and/or the universe

[NullAshton]

Whoops. Sorry about that.

God may not play with dice, but you sure are with that jukebox around