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Deep inside Chaos Mountain, Utoombo Moosman, supreme commander of the Machakan forces, sits in his comfy chair and dictates to his owl quill.

"Dear Friend, I wish to approach you with a request that would be of immense benefit to both of us. I am approaching you in the strictest confidentiality, cross my heart, hope to die. I am a son of the late MR SMITH of Marignon and I to make some fortune out of a situation that I am obviously left with no other better option. My father was brutally eaten by spiders in the Machakan wars..."

Soldiers burst through the study door, spear tips glinting in the dimly lit room. They are led by Captain Muddok, but that's hard to tell, since he's just another naked guy with a spear.

"Gah!" Utoombo says. "Fools! Here I am at work, trying to improve the finances of our impoverished nation, and you disturb me? Do you want to get paid this month, or not?"

The soldiers snicker, and Captain Muddok says, "Well, see, Pythium heard of our war plans, and in a stroke of diplomatic genius, has paid us off! We don't work for you any more, we've been bribed, he's greased our palms, paid us out, the old pot-de-vin."

Utoombo fades three shades. "The spiders! Without a war to pursue, they will grow hungry and eat us all. You idiots!"

Captain Muddok says, "Oh, there's no need to worry about that. We've set 'em loose on the goblins. Say, that's a nice chair!"

More colour drains from Utoombo's face, and he leaps for the door. He's got no chance of escape, though, and his screams are shrill in the small room as Muddok and his soldiers enforce a quick change in leadership.

Deep inside Chaos Mountain, Muddok Wildermoos, supreme commander of the Machakan forces, sits in his new comfy chair and continues the dictation.

"... but before he died, Collosal Moose be praised, he named me his sole heir and beneficiary. But according to the law my father's fortune of ONE MILLION FIRE GEMS must remain in the country unless there is a foreign relative of MR SMITH who also can claim ..."