OT: Advice.... - Page 2

primitive · #11 December 4th, 2004, 04:06 PM

Isn't you half Norwegian [img]/threads/images/Graemlins/Flag_Norway.gif[/img] [img]/threads/images/Graemlins/VikingHelm.gif[/img] Renegade ?

You got to embrace your Norwegianess. Bottle up those emotions. Keep it all in. Don't show any weakness

Seriously: Tell her. You won't regret it.
Why do you think women spend all this time in front of the mirror ?
They crave attention. Nothing they like more than to hear they are wanted. Even if you are rejected as boyfriend material there is little risk she will turn you down as a friend. Any awkwardness following a rejection will probably be of your own making. Remember; women are much better at these things than we are

Slynky · #12 December 4th, 2004, 04:11 PM

Well, no one here can advise you perfectly. We/they can only make suggestions and give life examples. But, they may not pertain to you exactly.

So, without knowing a whole lot about the two of you, I can offer this:

(1) You are young. I suspect, being hasty, perhaps, that you might be more interested in the "thrill" of a sexual contact than just remaining friends. Having said that, I'll back it up with some wisdom (that the elder around here can most assuredly attest to)...that first year or two with your love is exciting but it will fade and the both of you will need to have friendship as your "anchor". Being married (or with) your best friend is about as good as it gets. Just ask anyone who has been with a girl for a long time (married or not). WHEN you can say, my girlfriend/wife is my best friend, you will most likely be about as happy as you can be. So, considering she is already a good friend, I'd say "go for it". But, choose your words carefully...which leads to item #2.

(2) As I said before, I don't know you two. Not sure what is between you two more than just a friendship. If it were me, I'd say something like: "I've known you for a long time. You're my best friend. I'd never want to do anything to hurt that connection we have. But, I have other feelings, too, and rather than let them be neglected, I thought it was important to see if you had any additional feelings as well. You see, it's hard in this world to find people that you feel might be your soulmate and it's stupid to pass up a chance to see it "this" is the one because you are scared. So, there it is! You can always count on this...that I will be your best friend regardless of how you feel about me and my words...because I care about your happiness and friendship."

Well, it might not be the exact words you would say but it's an example. All in all, I've found truth is the best thing to pursue.

Let us know what you do and how it turns out.

Slynky · #13 December 4th, 2004, 04:16 PM

Quote:

primitive said:
Isn't you half Norwegian [img]/threads/images/Graemlins/Flag_Norway.gif[/img] [img]/threads/images/Graemlins/VikingHelm.gif[/img] Renegade ?

You got to embrace your Norwegianess. Bottle up those emotions. Keep it all in. Don't show any weakness

Seriously: Tell her. You won't regret it.
Why do you think women spend all this time in front of the mirror ?
They crave attention. Nothing they like more than to hear they are wanted. Even if you are rejected as boyfriend material there is little risk she will turn you down as a friend. Any awkwardness following a rejection will probably be of your own making. Remember; women are much better at these things than we are

Ahhh, nice to see you, Big P! Seriously! Glad you still poke around here.

So, no dragging by the hair with a big club? LOL

When's your next game going to be?

primitive · #14 December 4th, 2004, 05:01 PM

Still browse the forums once in a while.

Not much time for playing though. I'm in Pairs and RTH2 and thats more than enough for the moment

sachmo · #15 December 4th, 2004, 05:13 PM

Tell her you would like to take her on a date. Try to have a good time. Date for a while. THEN tell her about your feelings. If you play all of your cards up front, there is nothing to build on.

Slynky · #16 December 4th, 2004, 05:25 PM

Quote:

sachmo said:
Tell her you would like to take her on a date. Try to have a good time. Date for a while. THEN tell her about your feelings. If you play all of your cards up front, there is nothing to build on.

But the word, "date", means more than he might like to discuss. I mean, saying the "D" word already indicates more than a friendship. Perhaps the "D" word WITH something like I said before.

sachmo · #17 December 4th, 2004, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Slynky said:

Quote:

sachmo said:
Tell her you would like to take her on a date. Try to have a good time. Date for a while. THEN tell her about your feelings. If you play all of your cards up front, there is nothing to build on.

But the word, "date", means more than he might like to discuss. I mean, saying the "D" word already indicates more than a friendship. Perhaps the "D" word WITH something like I said before.

I disagree. I feel that asking someone on a date is pretty low risk, and says everything you need in the question. He says,

"Hey, let's go out on a date."

Then, she will react. Either she wants to go or she doesn't. Unless she's clueless, she'll know he likes her. How much does he like her? Well, she'll have to go on a date to find out.

My experience has been that if I try to tell a woman how I feel, I either end up screwing it up and looking like a psycho, or sounding like an idiot. I feel that in some instances, if I had just started with something low pressure like, "I want to go out with you" then the object of my affections would have an easy time of just saying yes or no, with no hard feelings. If I sat down and composed a love poem to her, and then asked her out at the end (like I've done), they usually run away screaming.

tesco samoa · #18 December 4th, 2004, 07:51 PM

Friends can be fun to go out on dates with.

Could be a really good time for both of you.
If it does not work out.
Well at least you were honest with yourself and your friend.

Renegade 13 · #19 December 4th, 2004, 09:30 PM

Quote:

PvK said:
Oh, and you could also consider than since you only have less than a year before graduation, you may not be seeing anyone you went to grade school with much after then anyway.

First of all, thanks so much to all of you who have replied thus far. I can see several opposing viewpoints, and some that agree. It has all been very helpful to me.

This is a good point you make, and is a large part of why I am so hesitant to do anything about how I feel. I mean, within a year we're both going to be outta here, and probably not to the same place. So what is really the point of getting attached to someone that you'll have to say goodbye to in less than a year?? But there's the other hand too. If you're never willing to take the risk that you'll have to leave someone that you like, then when will you EVER take the chance, and tell someone how you feel?

Renegade 13 · #20 December 4th, 2004, 09:32 PM

Quote:

primitive said:
Isn't you half Norwegian [img]/threads/images/Graemlins/Flag_Norway.gif[/img] [img]/threads/images/Graemlins/VikingHelm.gif[/img] Renegade ?

You got to embrace your Norwegianess. Bottle up those emotions. Keep it all in. Don't show any weakness

Seriously: Tell her. You won't regret it.
Why do you think women spend all this time in front of the mirror ?
They crave attention. Nothing they like more than to hear they are wanted. Even if you are rejected as boyfriend material there is little risk she will turn you down as a friend. Any awkwardness following a rejection will probably be of your own making. Remember; women are much better at these things than we are

Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm only 1/4 Norwegian.

But quite proud of my heritage!

On a more serious note, this advice seems quite logical to me, and has helped me a lot (along with all the other advice posted here)