You Might Be A Fat Emperor If:

[AgentZero]

You have smaller fat emperors orbiting around you...
While aboard an orbital space station, you influence the tides...
When you step on the scale, it says 'To be continued...'
Your Empire's tailors have had to change 'One Size Fits All' to 'One Size Fits Most...'
You take your Royal Imperial Cloak the the cleaners and they tell you they don't do curtains...
Your Royal Imperial shoes need license plates...
McDonalds has to change their signs every time you eat there...
Your portrait has to be painted from orbit...
You go to sleep in a field outside your palace, and when you wake up, you've been zoned for commercial developement...
Everytime you turn around your subjects have a Welcome Back celebration....

And finally,
After a trip to Rigelon IV, you are diagnosed with an incurable flesh-eating disease... And the doctors give you 37 years to live.

[Azselendor]

If getting out of bed in the mornign causes a polar wobble - sixty lightyears away.
If your commanders and navigators have to give you a 'wide berth'
If during a parade, a kid points to you and asks his mommy "Mommy, why isn't that baloon flying?"
If you fear japanese whalers are trying to assisnate you.

[David E. Gervais]

If people ask you why you're sitting on the floor, but in truth you're sitting on a chair.

Cheers!

rotflmao

[Atrocities]

Very very funny stuff guys. ROFLMAO. These are hilarious.

If the food caught between your teeth would feed a large planet for a year.
If you are bared from landing on any planet smaller than a huge gas gaint
If the Last time you had sex you crushed the girl
People sky down you in winter.
They had to install a food lift to get the food from your plate to your mouth.
The Last time you tried to see your toes, you lost your balance and squished a small town.
If you have the following sticker on your *** "Caution, May expell poisionous gases at hurricane speeds."
If you anihilated an entire race or Organics beings because you liked how their ships tasted.
If you have ever been harpooned.

[Azselendor]

If it takes you two and a half hours to turn around.
If bending over prompts the evacuation of your capital world for fear of exposive methane burts
If you are being hunted by a tribe of eskimos.
If you've waken up inside of a movie theatre's backroom with a 'lard processing' machine hooked up to you and the popcorn machine.
If you force the Eee and Drushocka to unite against you.

[Atrocities]

If you are your own natural resource for oil.
If you have ever been mined for resources
If you have ever been dropped on an enemy world as a bio-toxic weapon.

[Azselendor]

If the drilled for oil on uranus (building off atrocities' one).
If you are 3 feet taller when you sit down on the floor.
If you the Last person of your race.
If your chef only knows how to work the deep fryer from the Battleship Yamato.
If you are addressed as "Your Hungriest"
If you've had more than 6 palace walls removed to be able inspect your armies.
If You've been labeled as a weapon of mass destruction by your allies and your enemies.

[ironman]

You need a small ringworld to keep your pants up

[Azselendor]

If the only thing bigger than your ego and empire's might combined is your pants size, or...
If you can't wear pants.

[Atrocities]

ironman said:

You need a small ringworld to keep your pants up

ROFLMAO.... Very funnny.