Amusing concept vehicle

[Suhiir]

Originally Posted by DRG

I would guess the Office of Naval research knows how much space is available on a USMC amphibious warfare ship...

OK, this article make it considerably clearer.
As a ship-to-shore transport, specially one that can carry a tank, this thing makes a lot more sense.
Once again assuming bites me in the butt, I'd thought it was a proposed AAV replacement rather then an LCM one.

[dmnt]

Aaaand finally I found this.


Legendary Homotin.

The almost unreadable text on the right hand side reads:

KAKSOIS-VALMET
THE SECRET WEAPON OF BRIGADE 70
Domestic tractors were light and had small engines. FDF's Transport Vehicle Depot joined two 2500 kg (2.5 metric tons) and 54 hp Valmet 500 tractors together with a hydraulic swiveled axle.

This twin-Valmet (conscripts called this "Homotin", "The Gay Maker") that had the mass of a forest work tractor but considerably higher combined engine power had an excellent terrain capability and pulling power. The downside was that the combination was hard to drive. Both tractors required a driver of their own and thus picking the right gear and timing the wheel turns mandated rules for finding drivers: identical twins who could read each other's minds.

[dmnt]

Another "successful" proto project FDF received... Panssari-Valmet, shortly PaVa.

Valmet and Sisu entered this competition on building a domestically produced APC to replace BTR's. Sisu presented XA-180 and Valmet... well... do I need to say that they tried to build it on Valmet 1502 tractor base?


Valmet 1502

They merged it together with some truck parts and gave it a hull to protect from rifle fire. Thus an abomination was born. Panssari-Valmet abbreviation PaVa turned into Paska-Valmet, "Piece-of-****-Valmet" in conscripts' mouths.


PaVa on the depot, hiding it's ugly face in the shadows. Photo from 1989.

But it gets worse.

This is the side/frontal view

And this is the cockpit.

Ergonomic, isn't it? To be fair, Valmet had had problems during the project and the whole lump of crap had to be assembled quick.

To add insult to injury, it had no suspension on the back axles - it's a tractor, remember? It had a truck engine, and people who have driven it said that "It was okay for the driver to drive 80 km/h on a good,straight road... if you could take the smell of burning oil. Of course when it's time to turn you either slow down to 30 km/h or enter the forest." It was also 6x4 drive. At least it did protect from rifle fire, the side had bullet marks on it when this person had tried driving it.

[DRG]

If you need to come up with an idea for something that can be assembled quickly from common parts this is what you get and it's a lot better than other ad hoc APC's I've seen

[Warwick]

Ergonomics? You should try a Saracen or a Ferret on for size. I would hate to have get out of either of these in a hurry.

Regards, Warwick

[DRG]

I climbed into the Tiger 2 at La Gleize in the late 70's when I might have weighed 150 pounds at most and there is no way to get out of the commanders hatch in a hurry unless you're under 5'6" and weight 120 tops