[OT] - Story thread: Xenology Resurrected

[dogscoff]

OK, here it is. I hope there's at least someone reading this...

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An insistent wheezing sound issued from the vast bulk of the bladdergart as it gradually deflated, echoing around the frozen cavern like the whisperings of the unfortunate creature's ghost. Shreekep chuckled from atop the dripping mass.
"I have to admit I'd thought I'd sampled everything the new domains had to offer," he said, still squirming himself clean of oily gore, "but you've really surprised me with this one. Quite delicious."
"It's natural that an adventurer like you would be more familiar with the northern systems than the southern ones."
Shkimsk replied, carefully keeping any sense of satisfaction out of his voice. "These red bladdergarts are from the polar regions of Daran II. They're as stupid as they are tasty, you only have to imitate their calls and they swim right to you."
"You're right, I've never been to that end of the galaxy. Much too quiet for my taste, but it obviously has its charms. Perhaps I should think about some investments there." He adjusted his balance slightly as one of the
beast's internal membranes gave way and a fresh flotation chamber began to vent rudely. "Say, it must have cost you a fortune to get this thing shipped all that way."
Shkimsk waved his tail casually and tried hard to make his denial sound nonchalant. If anything, the word "fortune" was an understatement, but he had the measure of Shreekep and knew that this lurid display of wealth would impress him. Shkimsk had understood this as soon as he had heard the pirate wanted an audience fee from him- coming from anyone but royalty it was an outright insult, although Shreekep had mitigated the affront somewhat by offering to share the kill with its donor. Even with Kleesh's influence, it had taken considerable funds, organisation, coertion and bribery to seal off and flood an entire starliner compartment- room that could have accomodated over forty thousand paying passengers- so that this creature could be transported alive to Marfak IX, one of the colonies nearest the alien borders. Still, it would be worth the expense and the wounded pride if he could just
bring Shreekep onto their side. He was an icon, a figurehead for the adventuring spirit that was the appeal of the colonies, and his co-operation was crucial to their continued success. "So now that we're fed, let's talk business," Shreekep said. Shkimsk made a sound of agreement as he plugged one of the bladdergart's noisier punctures with his tail, then settled himself down. This, according to the old KanesS proverb, would be the real meat of the meeting.

"It concerns the Xiati." He began. "As you know, they aren't at all happy with us."
"Well, I'm quite happy with them." Replied Shreekep. "As should you be. I've made my name hunting them, and it seems to me that your own little adventure on Pruli VIa was the turning point in yours and Kleesh's little empire."
Shkimsk bared his teeth in displeasure. It was all true enough, but the use of the word "empire" was a dangerous one. He and Kleesh had already assembled and deployed their own private army in the conquest of Pruli VIa, and what they were about to propose to Shreekep would amount to little less than a private war-fleet, and that's enough to make any monarch nervous. Kleesh might be the effective ruler of the empire's colonies, but her parents wouldn't be king and the queen if they hadn't retained the power to crush any potential rebellion, even if they had never left the homeworld themselves. Besidess, The prosperity of the colonies depended on a steady flow of colonists from the homeworld, and that in turn depended not only on the goodwill of the monarchy but on public opinion, and nothing makes the gerneral public more nervous about travel than a fully-fledged civil war.

No doubt Shreekep understood all his, and perhaps also understood that he effectively held the balance in any such conflict. Kleesh had no warships of her own, except for the landing craft used to invade the Xiati outpost and a number of support ships, and any attempts to procure warships directly would look too much like a potential coup. On the other hand, their majesties' government- backwards as ever- had no real fleet to speak of, although they were finally beginning to remedy the situation. No, the only real armed KanesS presence in space was the legion of privately owned buccaneers, lone entrepreneurs who preyed on lost and helpless ships. They had no allegiance except to themselves, but they all looked up to and respected Sheekep, who had popularised the pirate lifestyle. He had risked his first fortune when he invested all of it into his ship, and then had founded a second one on the capture of a Xiati explorer craft. Although his ship still prowled the borders, he paid someone else to take the helm these days, while he himself had taken to teaching. His "ship training" facilities on Marfak IX and Catia IV had been popular and profitable, and had done a great deal to remedy the staggering ineptitude shown by many of the first buccaneer crews. Dozens of small trade ships- Xiati, Cue Cappan, Norak, Drukshockan and KanesS- had fallen victim to pirates since the establishment of the academies, as well as a second explorer and even a small Xiati warship.

All this ran through Shkimsk's mind as he considered his reply to Shreekep's observation.
"You're right, of course. The Xiati have benefitted both of us, but now they threaten us. I'm sure you'e heard about the First Battle of Pruli*? If not for blind luck we could have easily lost the colony. Quite apart from the exports we get from Pruli VIa, it's become a symbol of the whole colonial lifestyle. To lose it would be more than just embarrassing."
"So you've come here to ask me to defend your precious colony? You want me to rally a few ships to hang around the Pruli warp point and fight off any righteous Xiati invaders? I have to say it all sounds rather dull."
Shkimsk coiled languidly while flashing a warning glance to one of his servants, who was obviously finding the smell of the bladdergart's flesh almost too tempting to resist.
"Really, Shreekep." Replied Shminsk, with just enough condescension in his voice to make the buccaneer bare his teeth. "You're supposed to be an entrepreneur, an opportunist. Why should we settle for simply defending our assets when we can procure new ones. The auctioning of Pruli VIa was a massive success, and the subsequent rioting only proved that there is demand for more. And there is more- beyond the Pruli warp point there are systems full of worlds, all occupied by the Xiati. We've taken one, we can take more. We won't be able to surprise them again like we did in Pruli, but we've already seen what a few buccaneer crews can do to Xiati warships. Imagine what an entire fleet could do. No, Shreekep, I want you to build a fleet of buccaneers and go through the Pruli warp point."

"Foolhardy." Said Shreekep at Last. "We have no idea what forces they may have ammassed on the other side of that warp point. We could be destroyed in an instant." There was no thought of cowardice in either of their minds. The KanesS are a race of opportunistic scavengers, who prey on the weak, the dying and the unsuspecting. They have no pretensions of bravado. Shkimsk was ready with a reply. "We have procured some information. One of the Overmind ships came through the warp point and made a little deal with one of our starliner Captains. It gave us some very precise information about their forces, and if you can get five or six captains to follow, we will crush them utterly. I can provide repair ships, supply tenders and a minesweeper. We'll bring along extra prize crews and expand the fleet as we capture enemy ships. Eventually we'll have the pick of their colonies, and you will have a significant share in the venture. It will be a feast."

A long silence followed in the darkness, broken only by the now-gentle exhalation of the gigantic corpse on which the two KanesS sat, measuring one-another with their precise sonar sense.

"I will consider it. I have some other business to look over before I can make a decision, and I will expect a sixty percent share, but I will consider it. The rewards would certainly be ample, but the risks may be too great. Now, leave me to think, and I will let you know in due course."

Shkimsk slithered off of the bladdergart and left, annoyed that he should be dismissed like some servant, but at the same time confident that the pirate's appetite had been sufficiently tickled by the offer. He would come, and the Xiati would fall into their open mouths, and Kleesh's position as first heir would be utterly unassailable.


FOOTNOTES:

* The battle-naming debate was finally settled when the First Battle Nomenclaturists made a surprise return from obscurity and gained the support of their peers with the suggestion that the previous three engagements be named the First, Second and Third Slaughters of Pruli**. Historians are now ferociously debating whether or not to revise the rest of KanesS military history and reclassify all previous conflicts as either "battles", "slaughters" or "feasts".

** It is likely that the timing of the suggestion- just before lunch after a particularly appetising morning's debate- contributed as much to its success as its content.