Re: Skaven
Thousands of man hours the Ulmish troops spent digging graves for the furry and overgrown rodents also known as Skaven. Even more time was spent burying their smaller cousins - the brown rats - that bravely tried to stand up on their wee little back legs, taking arms against the human aggressors. Clad in massive black steel, the Ulmish troops had no choice but to impale and splatter them with their heavy weapons or else they get inside their armor, gnawing off precious objects.
A commander of Ulm was asked why he let his troops occupy themselves with the menial task of digging graves for tiny rats. He answered that they partly did it honor the little furries (as he called them) for their bravery, but mostly to hide their hideous smell. "These rats smell way more than normal rats, like small furry factories of toxic waste gone bad..."
Some days ago a detachment of the 3rd Fist of Steel regiment found a cave deep inside the polluted forest believed to be the source of the rat mutation. Just outside the dark hole a large number of rats wearing "cute" (as one soldier described it) robes were seen, apparently occupied with some strange a ritual. The troops surprised them mightily, giving them no time to prepare any nasty magic spells. Stretching their tiny paws into the air one of the rats suddenly signaled to the others. In a flash everyone threw of their robes, dropped on all four and scurried away in all directions. Left on the ground was a big pile that could only be described as loot. The soldiers understandably forgot all about any rats.
Some weeks later a rat assassin we caught (in the act) told us that that what the troops had seen by the cave was probably the great meeting of Grey Seers. He also told us that the leader of that circle, the Great Grey Seer Biggus Rattus, had been missing for several weeks.
"He will return!", the prisoner screamed when we released him in the forest along with the other rats a couple of days later. Then a large owl swooped down and promptly ate him. "Back to nature", the King of Ulm said smiling, his first smile in years.
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