By the way, Mithras, paragraph 6? is a little weird. A quote mark is missing and the tense switches to present and back. In paragraph 8?, there's a bit of confusion at the beginning between singular (Androphag) and plural (their swords), and yet more tense confusion. Paragraph 9, it's enmity not enemity.
We want these to look as good as possible for the viewers right?
Just in case you feel angered by my instinct to edit the writings of others, in the honors english classes I've been in many people were far, far worse than you, switching tense all the time, forgetting that commas and even periods exist, and just in general making large, silly oversights. I won't claim I'm free of them either.
